Page 95 of Mr. Darcy’s Diamonds

“Well, I have confused her, and I am not prepared to clear up her bewilderment yet, so she is off-balance around me.”

“Darcy, you are being an idiot.”

“I know.”

“Take Bingley when you go out on horses or anywhere you will be seen. He is almost a relation to her, and you are his friend. It will be much less remarked upon than if I go.”

“Of course.”

Chapter Forty

Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy had arrived together for her birthday dinner. They had both greeted her with their best wishes, and the children had come down. Her cousins had already met Mr. Bingley in London, of course, and he had played with them on Longbourn’s grounds. They warmed to Mr. Darcy quickly, as well, and Elizabeth was given the lively evening she had hoped for. Mr. Darcy did not look at her in the way he had at Vauxhall or Covent Gardens. She was relieved to know where she stood with him, and she felt more comfortable smiling and teasing him along with her cousins. He spoke to her as a friend but spoke most to Bingley and her uncle; he was also amiable to her aunt and cousins.

When the gentlemen had departed that night, she acknowledged a small hole in her heart where previously she had imagined some warmth from him to reside, but overall, she was happier, though she was surprised. She realized he had filled in a larger hole in her soul, from which his friendship had been missing for so long.

Though she had seen him several times recently, her birthday was the first time she had felt as though her friend had returned to her. She was concerned about her own feelings growing, but she could tell his heart was in no danger, so she would hide her affection for the sake of their friendship.

Hiding her feelings from her aunt was also necessary.

“Lizzy, stop a moment,” her aunt said a few days after her birthday. Elizabeth had been passing through the drawing room but sat to hear her.

“I took tea with several of my friends yesterday, and they brought some disturbing news.” Aunt Gardiner put down her mending and glanced at Elizabeth before looking away. Elizabeth waited until her aunt looked back and resumed her speech. “It was about you and Mr. Darcy, Lizzy.”

Elizabeth held her breath, expecting what was coming.

“My friends carried rumors of slander spread throughout London. Have you heard these tales claiming you as his mis-mistress?” Aunt Gardiner could barely finish the question.

“I have, Aunt. Mr. Darcy has apologized, and⁠—”

“Perhaps it would be better if we did not see him anymore.”

Elizabeth had felt this herself, but she had since resolved to ignore the gossip.

“Mr. Darcy and I are nothing but friends, and we have never done anything wrong. We follow the rules of propriety and are never alone. Rumors have followed me all my life, Aunt, but they do not define me. Please do not forbid our friendship now that he has finally returned.” Elizabeth had not meant to become emotional, but her voice wavered, and she stilled to await a reply.

Aunt Gardiner sighed. “Your uncle said the same.”

Elizabeth relaxed.

“You must be vigilant, however Lizzy. A young woman’s reputation is fragile.”

Over the next few weeks, Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy took her out riding more than once. Matthew always stayed nearby. She was excited to have the use of a fine animal Mr. Darcy said he kept in town. For four years, she had wished to ride a horse around London, and Mr. Darcy was giving her the chance. Usually, they met at Hyde Park or St. James’s not long after dawn. Mr. Bingley overslept more often than not and did not join them, but Matthew always rode nearby. A couple of times, Mr. Darcy had brought a horse to Gracechurch Street and had begun teaching her how to ride on the city streets. This was far more taxing than rides in a park, though they rode before the streets were crowded, but it was exhilarating, as well.

Although they were in the city, the smell of the horse and the feel of the reigns in her hands reminded her of home and of her long rides during her childhood.

While they rode, Mr. Darcy questioned her on what other London attractions she wished to see, and then he and Mr. Bingley met her at art museums and booksellers. They also indulged her interest in old buildings whenever they came in their way. Mr. Darcy expressed an interest in seeing Dutton’s library on Gracechurch Street and met her there late in March. Dinah and Matthew both joined her that day, although Mr. Bingley did not.

By the end of March, Elizabeth felt she truly had her friend back. They had not been exposed to any more rumors, as they went into the fashionable areas of town only in the mornings before most people had risen. She knew their friendship would soon be tested and may not stand; Mr. Bingley had informed them his sisters would return to London a day or two after Jane did.

Elizabeth told herself she was happy for the brief friendship they had, but she knew she would be hurt when he turned from her again. She knew he could not wish to be the subject of rumors, and she often was when she went out with Jane and Miss Bingley. Jane insisted she join her, but Elizabeth had usually done her best to avoid the higher society events and planned the same this year.

Darcy had hoped to reintroduce Georgiana and Elizabeth once his sister finished school in the middle of March, but she had been eager to meet Mrs. Younge and see the townhouse he had leased for her use. She and Mrs. Younge quickly became comfortable with each other and set to work organizing their household and making plans to visit Georgiana’s friends in London. Within days in her own house, his sister had requested a trip to Brighton with these school friends. He and Richard had agreed that she was too young for such a venture this summer, which had led to her behaving in a way unfamiliar to him.

She had been even more upset when he told her she would join Richard and himself when they made an Easter visit to their Aunt Catherine. After Richard talked to her, though, she was resigned to the journey. He was not resigned to it himself. Going to Kent would mean missing more than a week of Elizabeth’s company.

He found that he was dreading the increase in their party when Miss Bennet and Bingley’s sisters returned to town. When they rode horses out of the hearing of even Matthew, Elizabeth had been speaking freely to him of her childhood in Hertfordshire. He now knew what her days had been like in London. She had told him about her music lessons for her young cousins, her sewing for charity, and of her volunteer work at the Foundling Hospital. He was impressed by her passion for the hospital’s cause and for the work she did there. He had been embarrassed when she said she knew he donated handsomely to the hospital, but she asked him whether it was because of Mr. Wickham.

“No, not exactly. My parents supported the hospital long before Wickham contributed additional reasons. I did increase the Darcy donation, however, after he abandoned three babies in a single year.”