Page 47 of Mr. Darcy’s Diamonds

“Excuse me,” Mr. Darcy said as he rose and stiffly bowed at the shoulders before stalking out of the room without looking at any of them. Everyone remained quiet as though expecting him to return. As though imagining he had not said those words, and they all could go back to how they had been before.

And then everyone was looking at her—with pity.

“I am sure he meant nothing by it,” Mr. Bingley was saying. “He was in an odd mood today, as you saw before he said anything.”

Elizabeth nodded numbly. They all took Mr. Darcy’s words to be aimed at herself, not at Caroline’s dismal matchmaking skills.

Why had he pointed such a barb at her? Although these details had never come up between them, she had never misled him, and she assumed he knew of Papa Oliver last year. But he had still been her friend, had he not? Why would he speak so now? Her eyes burned, and she realized she was about to cry. She gave a faltering smile and went to play the pianoforte in the other corner of the room. There, she could recover from her injured feelings alone until Jane was ready to return to Gracechurch Street. She prayed it would be earlier than usual, as she was developing a megrim.

The next morning, the pain in her head felt no better. When Jane returned alone from her morning with Caroline and Mr. Bingley, she gently knocked on her door.

“Come in,” Elizabeth said weakly.

“How are you feeling, Lizzy?” her cousin asked, genuine concern in her voice.

Elizabeth only shrugged.

“Mr. Bingley wanted me to send his best wishes for your recovery,” she said.

“Thank you.”

“Mr. Darcy did not attend the ball last night, either, Lizzy,” Jane continued. “Mr. Bingley said he received a note early this morning from him. He departed for his estate today.”

“Mr. Darcy has already gone to Pemberley?”

Elizabeth had hoped all would be resolved between them when they saw each other the next morning. He must truly be avoiding her. What had she done to offend him so? He had defended her right to visit with their friends last year, had showed her the menagerie, had spoken and danced with her cheerfully two nights ago, and then he had insulted her so cruelly the next day.

His leaving for Pemberley surely had nothing to do with her. Perhaps he had received bad news from his estate that had put him in a sour mood before his visit, and then he had realized he would need to go immediately to deal with the situation. That was the only possible explanation, as she had no influence over him. But what news could have been bad enough for him to lash out at her?

Perhaps his friendship had been an illusion. What had she heard Uncle Gardiner say? “Great men are often a little whimsical in their civilities.” Had this been what he had meant?

“Did any of you say something to Mr. Darcy at the dinner party about my…my father?” Elizabeth asked Jane.

“No, of course not. At least, I heard no such conversation. He and Caroline were together much of the evening, as you saw and heard, so she may have said something to him.”

“Thank you for looking in on me. I think I would like to rest now.” Elizabeth turned away from her cousin and pulled her quilt up to her chin.

Once Jane had left the room and closed the door, she cried again. Caroline had not been the best friend to her, but Elizabeth never expected she would sink so low as to spread gossip and lies about her simply to raise herself in Mr. Darcy’s esteem. Caroline knew only that Elizabeth’s father had been a farmer, poorer than Uncle Bennet. She had never told her of Aunt Bennet’s claims that he was a tenant farmer, although he may have been, and she had not told her she knew she may end up as a governess.

Jane must have told Caroline! Elizabeth was angry with Jane at first, but she expected her cousin thought Caroline knew Elizabeth well enough to know those things already. If Caroline had asked innocent questions framed in the scheming way she sometimes had, Jane would have thought nothing of sharing these details.

But why had Jane not admitted she had told Caroline? Instead, she only shifted all blame to her friend. It seemed Elizabeth could not trust Mr. Darcy, Caroline, or even Jane. She would not lose her cousin again over this, however, even if they could not be as close as she would have liked. She knew Jane’s motives could not have been malicious. She would never be as cruel as Caroline—Miss Bingley—or, as she must now admit, as unfeeling as Mr. Darcy.

She would be careful never to trust her cousin with any secrets, however. As awful as the day before had been, it at least showed her that neither her cousin nor her friends knew she was illegitimate. If they had known or even suspected, Mr. Darcy surely would have included that information in his insult.

Chapter Twenty-Three

That evening, Elizabeth recovered enough to join the family for dinner, although she remained stoic. After the meal, at which she had ignored many concerned looks, Aunt, Uncle, and Jane went to dress for another card party, while Elizabeth opened a novel in her bedchamber. Before she had read more than a few words, a knock sounded at the door.

“Yes?”

Jane came in, and her brows rose in surprise. “Would you like me to help you prepare for the party?”

“Not tonight. I have changed my mind about coming out, Jane.” She would not go back to her childish clothes or hairstyle, but she was uninterested in courting the vipers to be found in London society.

“But why, Lizzy? I thought you were amused by your engagements. If this is about Mr. Darcy, do not let him affect you so. Mr. Bingley and Caroline were as upset as I was by his behavior and will surely support you in society.”

“That is good of them, but it is not only Mr. Darcy. I have had enough for now of the knowing glances and outright insults, but I could ignore those, as well, if the reward were attractive to me. Uncle Bennet does not wish for me to marry until I am of age, so why should I rush? I would prefer to paint and read and play the instrument. After all, do not women always say they no longer have time for such pursuits after marriage?” Elizabeth told the truth, but she conveyed her decision lightly so as to appease her cousin’s curiosity and forestall any argument.