Page 95 of Home Ice

Surprisingly, that shuts him up. And I … it doesn’t sound like she’s firing him? I’m scared to hope that I’m picking up on things correctly, but I really might be.

“This is my office,” she tells him. “I have to come here to get away sometimes too. Now I’m lending it to you. Come here if you need to scream, swear, sit down for a minute. Whatever you need, you use it for, okay?”

“Scream?”

“No one out there will hear you. Trust me, I’ve tested it.”

Dad’s chuckle is cautious. “Sorry, Belli. I’ll do better.”

“Nah, don’t you worry about that. Do what you can do. You’re going to give up on you before I do, and carrying you alone is going to be hard work, so do me a favor and don’t give up, okay?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Oh, I know. My depression wins sometimes, and I win other times. It is what it is. But we can’t let it win without a fight. Promise me?”

“I promise I’ll try.”

“That works for me.”

I can’t hear any more. I take off back up the hallway before they can spot me, and I don’t know what feelings are trying to take over because there are too many to name. I do know that my chest feels both heavy and light at the same time. That I have the strongest urge to cry. And laugh. And to go wrap both Dad and Belli in the biggest hugs I can manage.

Instead, I go back to the table where my breakfast is waiting and lean my face in my hands.

I don’t think the tears are going to come, but I’m not fucking sure of anything right now.

“Is your dad okay?” Hawke asks.

“Yeah, he’s … yeah.” I scrub at my face and look over at Hawke, still processing, still shocked and grateful and confused about how it all fits in my body at once. “I think he is.”

Hawke’s relieved smile fills his face. “That’s great news.”

“It is.” I think it is. I know it is. “I want to come with you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You need to know that I’m probably going to be on edge the entire time and constantly checking in on home, and I won’t go if Dad’s not okay with it, but … I think I need this. And I think he does too.”

Hawke’s gaze goes soft, and there’s something so sweet and tender there that, fuck me, I want to cry again. I can’t handle Dad having someone fighting for him and Hawke being proud of me all at the same time. It’s too much.

But damn, I need every second of it.

Chapter Thirty-One

JENSEN

“Ice cream?” I ask when Kasen follows me into the car after practice.

“I’m, uh, not going straight home today.”

My gut sinks at that. I’ve been looking forward to these brief snatches of time that only belong to us. We mostly talk about hockey, but it’s something. “Okay, where to?”

“The park. I’m meeting friends for a game of soccer.”

“Will Amy be there?”

“Maybe.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask if I can meet her, but I hold it in. Pushing things too quickly is the fastest way to make Kasen close up. I don’t even know if he’s told his friends about me, so the last thing I want is to drag him into an awkward conversation when we have so little time left. It’s bad enough I’m going to be away and miss our next drive home together.