Page 39 of Yours on the Canvas

I haven’t been right since my last fight in Vancouver. Fighting was my outlet and my whole body is screaming for another hit. Not literally, but close enough. It’s the only time I feel something that isn’t disappointment. Let my fists break a jaw or a eye socket? No problem. Anger gone.

But now that Silas, and the beating I took in Vancouver have taken away my outlet, I don’t have anywhere to put the rage. It’s stuck under my skin, crawling like a thousand ants, begging for release. And I’m so frustrated I can barely think straight.

I stomp into the kitchen, and I see Hale is home early, and Silas is already feeding him. Hale’s halfway through his plate, that boy can’t wait when it comes to food.

Silas hands me a coffee and I drop into the seat next to Hale, wincing as a sharp pain shoots up my ass and into my back. I frown into my cup and take a quick peak at Silas, who’s standing there all fucking gorgeous with a small smile on his face and one eyebrow raised.

“Fuck off.” I mumble, frowning into my cup.

He huffs a laugh and turns back to the coffee maker, and I take in the god that is Silas, his long hair tucked under a backward cap, shirt stretched across his chest like it’s committing a crime. My eyes trace the tattoos peeking out from the edges of the material, a dark, intricate map running down his arms and climbing the column of his neck.

Fucking dick.

“Huh?” he turns, eyebrow raised.

Shit. Did I say that out loud?

“Nothing.”

“Sure, Jack.”

“Pretty sure you called Silas a fucking dick, Jack.” Hale pipes up, dobbing me in.

“Shut up, Haze, and watch your mouth.” I flick a glare at him, and he just laughs, and goes back to eating. The little shit.

I go back to sulking into my mug and my thoughts move again to Silas. Every time I’m around him, I get this heavy mix of absolute awe for the man and an absolute need to punch him square in the balls. He frustrates me, and then he makes my whole damn body sing. I crave him. I need him.

He makes the rest of the world fade, and he’s the only person who can make the static in my head disappear.

I know I’m falling for this man, if I’m not already gone for him, and that’s the part that’s driving me insane. I have to keep my mouth shut about it.

He tells me I’m his, that he owns me, but I know he doesn’t feel the same way I do. He told me himself.

His exact words were, “This between us, Jack…It’s casual. That’s it.” And then he bent me over the couch and fucked me senseless, leaving me too wrecked to even think straight.

As I said, fucking dick.

When I look at him, every wall I’ve spent a lifetime building suddenly feels so useless. The man makes me feel something. Something I was told I wasn’t ever allowed to have.

His touch is the only one I can tolerate on my skin, the only one that doesn’t make me flinch. I want to keep feeling that.

I want more of it.

My frown deepens at my thoughts, and I grind my teeth, forcing myself to look away from him and focus on Hale beside me.

“What’s on the agenda for today, Haze?” I ask, keeping my eyes firmly on Hale and not on the behemoth standing watching me with a frown on his face.

“School. I have math today. Love math,” he mumbles around a mouthful of cereal.

And… that’s all I get.

“How about you?” Silas’s words force me to look back at him.

“Nothing. Just work,” I snap.

Silas leans over the counter bringing his face closer to mine. “I don’t think you should go back full time so soon, Jack. Your body’s still healing.”

I lean back in my chair and glare at him. This beast of a man can fuck off if he thinks he can tell me what to do.