Page 74 of The FBI Agents Who Stole Me

The recording plays on, indifferent to promises I can never keep now.

“I got access credentials today. Restricted clearance. It felt… important.”

She was promised a way to make a difference. Of course she took it. They gave her an illusion and then exploited her.

“I’m not scared,” she adds quickly. Hope shines in her eyes, bright enough to make my heart ache.

The video cuts abruptly.

My own reflection stares back at me on the black screen. My face looks harder than I remember. It’s thinner and worn down.

“I should have known,” I say to myself. “She wanted to be like me. Was that what put her on this path? Did I not make her think she was enough just as she was?”

Neither of them says a word. Julian's hand settles on my thigh while Elliot finds my hand and gives it a quiet squeeze.

There are eight videos. I’m impatient to learn anything I can. I could ask Elliot to tell me, but I don’t want to make him be the one to say it. I need to hear it for myself.

I click on the next video.

Emily’s sitting somewhere dim this time. Colored light flickers against the wall behind her. Purple. Blue. Music thumps faintly through whatever door she’s closed.

She looks different than before, excited and confident.

“Okay,” she says quietly. “This one’s quick.”

She glances over her shoulder like someone might hear.

“My assignment has been adjusted. I’m going undercover.”

My stomach tightens. She looked like every other college student on campus. Nobody would've guessed she worked for the FBI.

“It’s not dangerous,” she adds too quickly. She gives a small, nervous laugh. “I’m someone who hangs out with the party crowd.”

Her eyes flick up to the camera. She forces a smile. “Wish me luck.”

The video switches off.

I play the next one. It’s only forty-five seconds. She’s in what looks like a car, but it’s not hers. Thick eyeliner points to a cat-eye shape, and her lips are hot pink.

“Me again. I’m going into the main dealer’s house. My handler said the key is to make sure they don’t suspect anything. Most of the time when deals are done, you’re expected to sample the product,” she continues. “If I hesitate, I look suspicious.”

She chews on her fingernail for a brief second. “I won’t. I’ll take what they offer. I can handle it. They’ll help me come down. Give me fluids.”

I want to reach through the screen and shake her.

“They trust me,” she says softly. “That’s why they picked me.”

No, it’s why they used you.

“This is how real agents start,” she adds. “Proving we can handle pressure.”

Music surges louder for a second. Someone laughs outside the door. Emily’s eyes flick toward the sound. “I’ll update after tonight.”

There’s a pause.

“If Lee ever saw this,” she mutters half to herself, “she’d kill them. She doesn’t need to know the details of this operation. She’ll see when I bring these guys down this was all worth it.”

The camera shifts as she reaches forward. The screen cuts. They didn’t just kill her. They used her for their gains first.