Page 132 of Open To Negotiation

The room was dark, the apartment quiet. Only soft light was coming from under the door from a hallway light we’d left on. I looked around her room for a moment, noticing that she had all her clothes piled in a suitcase, like she wasn’t staying here long. And I didn’t know if I should be happy about that or scared out of my fucking mind that she could change her mind at any moment and leave.

At least I had the money to go where she did. Hiding in Italy? No problem, I could have a house there in a day. Anywhere she decided to move I could relocate to.

Did that make me a stalker? Perhaps, but I would do anything just to be in the same city as her, even if she didn’t talk to me. To be there in case she changed her mind or needed me.

After a while, her crying slowed and she took a few big breaths. I didn’t push her to talk, just continued to hold her close as I felt her start to relax. I took some comfort in the fact that she didn’t release her tight hold on me.

“How did you know where I was staying?” She finally asked in a small voice.

“I always know where you are,” I replied softly as I continued to move my hand down her head. She made a noise but stayed quiet for another few moments.

“I was just upset about everything and all I could think was that I needed you,” she whispered it like a confession into the dark room.

I didn’t know what to say to her right now. Because I wanted to tell her that I had ripped my heart out and left it for her. That I needed her always and there was no one else I wanted her to call. That I know I’d hurt her, but I needed to make sure she was safe and to do that I needed to play by my father’s rules.

Sure, for a bit there I'd convinced myself I wasn’t good enough for her. But now knowing what it was like being without her, I couldn’t do it. I was planning on keeping her, if she let me.

When I looked down at her, she was looking up at me, but she was staring off into space. She looked exhausted, now wasn’t the time.

“You’ve had a rough day, Quinn.” I wiped a stray tear off her check and then put my arm back around her. She let out a long sigh that hitched a little at the end.

“It was shit.” She was still staring blankly ahead. “Did you sleep with someone since we’ve been apart?”

I pulled back at her question, the shock of it sending adrenaline through my body. “Of course not.”

“There was a bartender at Pulse that said—”

“Quinn,” I cut her off firmly, grabbing her chin so her eyes met mine. “I have not looked at, let alone touched, another woman since I met you. You might not trust me right now, but please trust that.”

She watched me for a moment before nodding. I waited a beat before I reluctantly let her chin go. It was almost like she was pulling herself back together. But I saw it, her fear of having me here when she said she needed space. I didn’t want to hear it so I spoke first.

“Let me stay tonight,” I said, trying not to sound desperate. “I haven’t been sleeping and I know it’s my own fault for pushing you away. But I can’t fucking sleep without you beside me, Love.” My chest squeezed tight as I watched her, my eyes dancing between hers while I waited for her to decide.

“I haven’t been sleeping either,” she admitted as I let out a breath. Some of the guard I’d seen her put back in place dropped away and she tightened her arms around me and tilted her chin back down. “Stay,” she mumbled, already drifting off to sleep.

I moved us down in the bed so I was on my back and held her close against my chest as I closed my eyes and fell asleep quickly.

Soft light was filtering into the room. Quinn had pulled the curtains closed but not the black out blinds, so as the sky lightened so did the room. It was after eight and I had pulled myself from her an hour ago. I didn’t want her to have to struggle to decide if she was upset about me being in her bed in the light of day. I’d left my sweater beside her and was now leaning in the doorway watching her.

I had no idea where Asher was, but he hadn’t come and bothered me yet. I saw her starting to stir and watched as she reached over to where I’d been. Before she could panic or think it had been a dream, I spoke quietly.

“Morning.” I watched as she rolled over and popped an eye open to look at me.

“Were you watching me sleep?” she asked in a groggy voice.

“Yes,” I answered unapologetically.

“Creep,” she said with a hint of a smile that had me sending her one back in return.

I watched as she rubbed her puffy eyes from her heavy cry last night and then pushed herself up slightly so she could look at me. All I wanted was to crawl back in bed and hold her, but being here for her and giving her the space she wanted was a fine line to walk.

“I couldn’t leave until you were awake,” I said with a shrug, still leaning in the doorway. I was still an early riser despite how little sleep I was getting. But I’d passed out hard with her last night and felt more awake than I had in weeks. “I made you coffee, it’s on the counter.” She smiled a little and looked down at the bed.

“Thank you for coming when I needed you.”

This time I couldn’t resist. I pushed off the doorframe and walked into the room.

“Always,” I said with a kiss to her forehead. When she looked up at me, I held her gaze, seeing her doubts there. “And I’m going to make you believe it.” I gave her one more kiss on the forehead before I pulled away. “I’ll see you soon.”