Page 49 of Outlawed

Austin jumps out, walks around, opens the door for me, and helps me out. He presses me against the door, caging me in, his eyes on my swollen lips. “I love it when you look freshly fucked.”

“Well, that’s lucky, because with more than one man, I look freshly fucked a lot.”

“Good thing I don’t care which of us leaves you looking like sin and tasting like heaven.”

“Such a poet.”

He leans down and kisses me, far more softly than before. When the door opens, he sighs and pulls back, pressing his forehead against mine. “I’ll see you tomorrow. You call me if you need anything.”

“Okay. Thank you for everything tonight.”

“Anytime you need help getting rid of a body, I’m your guy.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

His lips press against my forehead before he murmurs words meant only for me. “I love you. I know I have no right to demand anything from you in return. If I were a good man, I’d stay away from you because fuck knows you deserve better. But I’m not a good man, Cece, and I have no intentions of staying away. You promised me that if I helped you with Porter, you’d give me you, and I plan on holding you to that.

“I won’t push the issue tonight. I know you have a rough day ahead of you tomorrow. But soon, you’ll need to carve out a space for me. Or I’ll carve one out for myself, and I can’t guarantee you’ll like it.”

“Sometimes I’m not sure if you actually love me or if I’ve just become your obsession.”

“What I feel for you is far too complex to be called love and goes way beyond obsession.”

“And that’s what worries me. Sometimes I feel like only one of us will survive this.”

“If you think I’d let death separate us, then you haven’t been paying attention.” He kisses me again, harder this time. “Tomorrow.”

And then he’s walking around the truck and climbing in. He watches me through the windshield, waiting for me to move before he puts the truck in reverse.

Riggs moves up to stand next to me. “You okay? Shepard called and said you left with Austin. I was worried.”

“I know. I’m sorry. Things with Austin will always be complicated. I know that you and Shepard have strong feelings toward him. I get it. I really do. But this bond ties us together whether we like it or not. I know, deep down, that if I push him away, I’ll have to kill him because it won’t take much to twist what we have and make him into a monster.”

“I hate to break it to you, Opie, but that man is already a monster.”

I look up at him and sigh. “But while he’s my monster, I’m safe and so is everyone else. The second I cut him free, he’ll kill everyone I love and drag me to hell.”

“Then I’ll kill him for you.”

“You can’t.”

“The fuck I can’t.”

“No, I mean you can’t kill him because…” I step into him, wrapping my arms around the back of his neck.

“Because you love him,” he finishes for me.

“I know it’s not normal. Actually, I know it’s about as fucked-up as fucked-up can get, but I think I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m not normal. And I’m tired of trying to be.”

“You have daisies and roses growing next to wolfsbane and hemlock. You make face cream to slow the signs of aging and another to reduce scarring from bruises, but you keep it on the same shelf as those little blue bottles that cause erectile dysfunction and pills to make a man’s hair fall out. You make the weather change with your mood, and when I say I can feel sparks between us, I mean literal sparks. There is nothing normal about you, and thank fuck for that. Normal is boring, and you, Opie, are anything but boring. You’re magic.”

He sighs. “If you want him in your life, we’ll find a way to make it work. But don’t ask me to stand by and watch him hurt you.”

“I won’t. If he hurts me, you have free rein to hurt him right back.”

“See, that’s all I’m asking.”

I grin before he kisses me, his hands going to my hips so he can pull me close.