Page 2 of Outlawed

He holds me tighter, and I know if he could take it all away from me, he would. But this world has never been kind to me. What it has done is prepare me for moments like this. I might be struggling now, but I know how to claw my way back.

“I love you, Shepard,” I tell him softly.

He tips his head down so he can look at me. It’s the first time I’ve told him out loud, scared I’d jinx it.

“Say it again.”

I reach up, cup his face, and stare into the pretty green eyes of one of the few people who has refused to let me shut them out. He’s held me while I’ve sobbed and raged at the world and sat beside me in silence when even talking was enough to overwhelm me.

“I love you. You told me once that you’d prove yourself worthy of me, and you have a million times over.”

He bends and kisses me softly. I lose myself in the moment. Nothing else matters right now, and my whole body relaxes before he pulls away.

“I have to go.”

“I know. But I’ll be here when you get back.”

“I don’t know what time that will be.”

“I’ll still be here.”

He chuckles, kisses the tip of my nose, and stands. I shield my eyes with my hand and look up at him in his freshly pressed shirt.

“You’re not wearing your hat today?”

“I’ll grab it on the way out.”

“Good.”

“You got a thing for cowboys, huh?”

“I’ve got a thing for my cowboys.”

“Good answer. Speaking of cowboys…”

I turn to the direction he’s looking and see Riggs in the distance heading our way on Kane.

“Catch you later, baby,” Shepard calls out. I blow a kiss over my shoulder. “Be safe.”

“Always,” he calls back. I watch his ass as he walks away. I’m only human, and that man’s ass is statue-worthy.

Once he’s gone back in the house, I lie flat on my back and close my eyes, letting the warm sun soothe me. Today feels like the first day I’ve felt more like the old me. I don’t know if the old me is who I want to be, or if I should reinvent myself once more. But I’ll take anything over feeling like a ghost, hanging on to life by its fingertips.

I don’t know how long I lie there for when a shadow falls over me. Before I can open my eyes, I’m picked up and tossed over a naked and sweaty shoulder.

I squeal with laughter, the sound both foreign and rusty as Riggs carries me into the house and upstairs to the room the three of us have been sharing. We never discussed it, never mentioned Shepard moving in at all. We gravitated toward each other after what happened. And well, Shepard never went home, other than to grab clothes and empty his fridge.

I find myself sitting on the counter in the bathroom as all the blood that rushed to my head tries to return to where it came from. Riggs crowds me, spreading my legs so he can slip between them. “You’ve caught the sun,” he says, his voice low as he trails a finger across the bridge of my nose.

“Not all of us look like sun-kissed gods when we’ve been outside.”

I tan well, but not nearly as well as Riggs. He looks like he’s been immortalized in bronze.

What is my fascination with statues today?

He nips my lip when he notices my brain has wandered. “How was Shepard? I hoped to catch him before he left, but I had to help fix some fencing.”

“He’s feeling…I won’t say nervous, but out of sorts, I guess. I’m not sure his heart is in it anymore.”