Page 166 of Keldori By Daybreak

“I volunteered to block the Rift nearly half a millennium ago. I built this world. Is that not enough?” Gams pressed. “So you say the word, Wren. I still have fight in me, but if you’re done, I am too. I’ve already given up so much. Damn the worlds if saving them means risking you too.”

I wanted so badly to agree. Everything would change if she abandoned the Rift, but hadn’t everything changed already?

Ferrin wouldn’t bother us if we stayed out of his way. We were too strong together. And with the Saergrim role abandoned, maybe Ciarán and I—

I bit my lip and closed my eyes.

Ciarán would never forgive me. He would want to fight. He would want to save the worlds.

So would the others. Orla, Iseult, Tiernan, Fana—they’d never abandon the Rift. Most of them had signed up for this, of course, while I hadn’t had a choice, but still.

“Do we stand a chance?” I whispered. “If we keep fighting, is it worth it?”

“It’s always worth it,” Gams said. “Even when we don’t stand a chance. But yes. I believe we can stop Ferrin.”

She shifted her magick to one hand to reach out for me. I took her hand, and fresh tears spilled over onto my cheeks.

“I’m so tired,” I whispered.

“I know.” She squeezed my fingers, and I fell against her shoulder, crying and wishing she could drop the storm again to hug me properly.

“It’s not fair,” I managed to gasp out. “None of this. I just want to be home.”

“You will be.” She ran her hand through my hair. “So take a moment. Breathe. I get the sense you haven’t breathed in a while. Maybe you’ve forgotten how.”

“I know how to breathe!”

“Well, then breathe better!”

I pulled away to pace in front of her, stepping over the ice figurines that mirrored the movements of the waiting armies on the shore.

I’d lost my resolve for a moment. I’d wanted so badly to run. Gams was right. This didn’t have to be our fight. But if not us, then who?

The obvious answer was Ciarán, Orla, and the others, but they needed us if they wanted to succeed.

But I was so tired of running and fighting, and if more Ergoth-level terrors existed between me and home, I wasn’t sure I could make it.

“You said four Magicians,” I suddenly realized, stopping in my path. “You said you tethered your mind to the other four Magicians, but there were only three others who helped you form Skalterra.”

Gams focused on the electrical magick arcing between her hands rather than meet my eye. I scratched at my scalp, wondering if I should drop it.

“Was the fourth Darragh?” I finally asked.

Gams tilted her head to the side so that the glare of her magick caught her glasses. “Yes.”

“Did you love him?”

“I loved all my companions, Wren.”

“Gams.”

A bolt of lightning struck the icy roof of the Rift doorway behind her, sparking spectacularly.

“What would you like me to say?” Gams hissed. “It was four hundred years ago. He’s been dead for most of that time. I did what I had to do to protect both worlds. We both did.”

“Does it feel like it’s been four hundred years?” I asked.

She inhaled sharply, and the glare on her glasses shifted to reveal tears in her eyes.