Page 108 of Keldori By Daybreak

“Clearly he isn’t!” Ciarán snarled. “You like Liam. But how do you feel about me?”

I clamped my mouth shut. I didn’t have an answer. Of course Ciarán and Liam were the same person, but did I like Ciarán? Or did I only like the parts of him that reminded me of my friend back home?

And why did Ciarán care?

“See? You know we aren’t the same,” Ciarán said.

“You are.”

“We’re not. You know we’re not. You were a Nightmare too. Don’t tell me that during all the time this summer you never, not once, wished you could remain that version of yourself. Because you know there’s a difference. You’re saying you never woke up and wished you could still be that Wren instead of—”

He cut off, but the way his eyes roved over me made my stomach flip.

“Instead of what?” I hissed.

He stared at the chicken in his hand instead of responding.

“I don’t want to remember Liam because I don’t want to remember something I can’t have. I’m stuck like this. This is the real me, and Liam is everything I wish I was but can never be. And the twenty-four hours of Liam held in this damn chicken, Wren, it’s torture because every minute I remember is a reminder of everything I’m not.”

“But you can be—”

“No,” he growled. “Let Liam die, Wren. For both our sakes.”

He dropped the chicken, and it shattered against the wooden floorboards.

“No!” I fell to my knees, reaching for bits of porcelain, but Ciarán's boot fell next, crushing what remained of the chicken and grinding it into dust.

“What did you do?” I looked up at him, and his orange eyes swam behind a film of luminescent tears.

The last bit of Liam had been in that chicken.

Ciarán’s chin quaked as he pressed his mouth into a thin line.

“Why,” he hissed, “why the hell is he still there? Why can’t I just forget?”

Relief washed over me, but Ciarán’s expression was dangerous.

“Ciarán—”

“And why can’t you—” He knelt in front of me to take my chin in his fingers. The fire in his eyes softened into something more sad than angry. “Why can’t you leave me alone?”

“I’d love to, but you won’t let me,” I snarled. “You’re the one who tethered our damn minds and won’t get out of my head.”

He let go of my face and straightened up. “Fine. I’ll take my leave and keep watch in the hallway. Sleep, my Lady. I’ll wake you if anything happens.”

I stayed on the ground, hovering over the porcelain dust of the chicken as Ciarán stood and left without looking back at me.

24. Room and Board

Ciarán was gone in the morning along with whatever remained of my “detachment from reality and mercurial sense of whimsy”. He wasn’t far. I could still feel him in the back of my head, though he was taking effort to keep me at a mental distance.

Good. Hopefully it meant he couldn’t sense me replaying our conversation from the night be over in my head. I understood he wished he could be Liam. I’d struggled with those feelings before regarding my own Nightmare form. But then calling me out for my own feelings regarding Liam?

That had been humiliating.

Thoughts of the conversation followed me into the tavern where I used a bit of the coin Ciarán had left in my backpack to buy a breakfast of eggs and tomato.

“Wren!” A body slammed into mine so hard that my fork flew from my hand and skittered across the wooden floor. Orla wrapped her arms around my shoulders and squeezed. “We were all so worried. Are you feeling okay?”