Page 106 of Not Until I Found You

“What toppings do you like on your pizza?” My voice comes out a bit husky, and I try to clear it away.

“Cheese, obviously. And…”

She makes her way through my living room, stopping as she reaches the kitchen island.

“I usually like spinach and peppers. Sometimes mushrooms.”

I give her a nod and look inside of my fridge. I’m thankful for the distraction as I pull out the ingredients, chopping and prepping them. She joins me, grabbing the cutting board and a knife to chop up the mushrooms I just washed.

Occasionally, our elbows bump, or our arms rub against each other, and then our hands brush more than necessary. Every time it happens, there’s a pause, like we’re both deciding whether to lean in or pull back. But we behave ourselves, which is for the best.

I slide the pizza into the oven, and we move into the living room, taking a seat on my couch. Sven jumps between us and demands our attention. We take turns giving him scratches on his head and behind his ear until he’s satisfied and moves over so he can place his head onto Maxinne’s lap.

“So…where do we go from here?” I finally ask the question that’s been gnawing at the back of my mind.

She hesitates for a second, but then she relaxes into me, taking my hand into hers. “I need to figure out a few details about going back to school.”

I nod once, my thumb stilling against her hand, as I mentally brace myself for her to continue.

“I only have one year left. And...I need you to know something. When I was with Derek, I walked away from school for him.” She shakes her head, almost embarrassed by the memory. “I kept telling myself I’d go back the next semester. Then the semester after that. Before I knew it, a year had passed. I promised myself I’d never do that again.”

“You shouldn’t.”

I squeeze her fingers gently. Her eyes lift to mine, relief flickering across her face.

“I’m going back to finish my degree. I have to. And it’s not because I care more about school than I do about us. But it’s because I finally remembered who God created me to be outside of someone else’s expectations. I’ve dreamed about opening my own shop for years, full of everything I’ve ever bored you talking about.”

“You’ve never bored me,” I promise and plant a kiss on her temple.

“Westbridge is only a three-hour drive. I could look into changing my classes a bit, see if I can do a few online so I could live here part time and travel back and forth, or I could visit on the weekends, or you could⁠—”

Maxinne keeps talking, working it out as she goes, but her words blur together beneath the thoughts crowding my mind. I knew this conversation was coming. Sooner or later, we’d have to face the reality that her life is in Westbridge and mine is here. Still, hearing it out loud stirs up old wounds I’d rather leave buried.

A quiet fear settles in the back of my mind before I can stop it. What if I’m making her future harder? What if being with me means asking her to spend hours on the road every week? What if somewhere along the way she starts giving things up again—not because I’m asking her to, but because I’m in Covewood?

Halfway through my hike, I finally stopped arguing with God about it. I told Him every ugly, selfish thought I’d been carrying. How badly I wanted Maxinne to stay. How scared I was of losing her before I’d even figured out what we were becoming.

Somewhere between the trailhead and the overlook, I realized this was never mine to control. If Maxinne is part of my future, God will make a way. I felt the weight shift off my shoulders, not disappearing completely, but enough that I could breathe again.

I blink and force myself back to the present.

“It wouldn’t be forever. Only until I finish in a year. And then—” She pauses.

“And then what?” I ask, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I want to move here.” Her brows pull together, like the answer should be obvious. “I want Covewood to be home for me.”

I let out a slow breath, dragging a hand across the back of my neck. Part of me wants to ask if she’s absolutely sure. I’m not doubting her, but I never want her to look back, years from now, wondering if she traded pieces of herself away for me. Derek had already asked her to do that once.

I never will.

Before I can reply, her phone’s ringing interrupts us. Maxinne glances down at the screen, and the smile she’d been wearing fades. Her thumb hovers over the screen for a beat before she presses the side button, silencing the call instead of answering it. She stares at the darkened screen for a second longer before slipping the phone back into her pocket.

“Everything okay?”

She forces a small smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yeah...it’s just my mom.”

“How do you think your mom will take the news about you wanting to move to Covewood after graduation?” I decide to ask.