Mason sighs. "Second most irritating then."
Somewhere near the front, someone is having a full administrative crisis involving what sounds like a double-booked seminar, and the woman behind the desk has the look of someone mentally composing her resignation letter in real time.
"Although," Mason says, after a moment.
I glance at him.
He has his thinking face on. The one that means something mildly unreasonable is coming. "If you were going to hack the system…"
"I'm not."
"Hypothetically."
"Mason."
"You could pull the full intake list." He keeps his voice low, conversational, like he's discussing the weather. "New students. Names, courses, campus addresses." A pause. "Photos from their registration files."
I look at him, and he looks back at me with complete innocence. The man has no limits to finding pussy to fuck. I mean, it’s not the worst idea he’s come up with.
"You want me to illegally access the university's student database," I say, "so that you can browse the new intake like a catalogue." My words make him laugh, and I can’t help laughing myself. It’s actually the best idea he’s ever had.
"I want you to illegally access the university's student database," he says. "So that we can browse the new intake like a catalogue. This is a shared endeavor."
"It is absolutely not a shared endeavor."
Mason looks at me.
I look at the queue, before replying to him.
"It's a terrible idea.”
"Absolutely," Mason agrees.
A pause.
"Their registration system pulls a photo on intake," I say, keeping my voice completely neutral.
Mason says nothing. He’s very good at saying nothing.
The queue moves approximately one person forward. The woman at the desk has now called a second colleague over to help with whatever crisis is unfolding at the front.
"Reconnaissance," Mason says quietly.
"Don't push it."
I pull out my phone and open a browser. I have to navigate three layers deep into a back channel I found last year when I was looking for something else entirely and clocked how badly protected the university's admin system was. Cain would physically wince if I described how unprotected it is.
It takes me thirty seconds, maybe less.
The full intake list sits on my screen. Names, courses, and photos. Every new face on campus this year, is right there, before any of them have any idea I exist.
I tilt the phone slightly so Mason can see.
He looks at it for a long moment. Then he exhales through his nose slowly. "I take back everything I said about you this morning."
"You said I was reasonably good-looking."
"I meant it as a compliment."