Page 138 of Hidden

Mason steps in close and wraps both arms around me, pulling me against his chest. One hand cups the back of my head, steady and firm, like he’s trying to keep me from falling apart completely.

“He’s still here,” he says against my hair, voice low.

My fingers twist into the front of his shirt. I shake my head against him, and the sobs come harder, silent and shaking, because I already know what he’s not telling me.

***

The car stops with Declan slamming the brake hard.

Blue lights flash across the front of the house, an ambulance is already parked at an angle on the drive, with its back doors open, one paramedic is standing beside it with a kit in his hands. Another is talking rapidly into a radio.

Mason is out of the vehicle before it fully stops. Hayden helps me out, as my legs are still too weak to stand up alone. My legs almost give up, but he steadies me with a hand under my elbow. I take two steps toward the house and then freeze.

Cain comes out of the front door up on the gurney, he’s straddling Miles, giving him CPR, both hands are locked together, and he’s driving down into his chest in hard compressions. Miles’s head is turned to the side. His skin looks wrong, he’s too pale, and almost grey.

My body goes completely still.

I can’t hear the paramedics anymore. I can’t hear Hayden beside me. There’s only the harsh, rhythmic sound of Cain counting under his breath and the way Miles’s body moves under each push, lifeless, wrong.

“Come on,” Cain is saying, voice rough and urgent. “Come on, Miles. Breathe.”

I can’t move.

Hayden’s hand tightens on my arm. Someone is speaking to me, but the words don’t reach my ears. All I can see is Miles’s face.

Then the paramedics push past us. One of them drops beside Cain with a defibrillator. Cain doesn’t look up. He keeps going until they’re ready, then sits back on his heels, his chest heaving, and his eyes locked on Miles’s face like he can will him back.

They put wires on Miles, then an oxygen mask. Mason stays right beside the stretcher as they carry him to the ambulance. His hand never leaves the metal rail.

I’m guided back into the car. I don’t remember walking. The whole way to the hospital the only sound I can hear is the memory of those compressions.

***

As we get to the hospital, they try to take me somewhere to be checked out. I shake my head and stay where I can still see the corridor they wheeled Miles down. Eventually someone stops arguing and lets me sit in the corner of a small waiting area just outside the trauma bay. I pull Mason’s hoodie tighter around myself and draw my knees up, making my body as small as possible.

I want to be invisible, I want to just cry from my pain and Miles.

People move in and out of the room Miles is in. Mason paces. Hayden stands with his arms crossed, his jaw locked. Declan arrives at some point with the rest of the family. No one has any answers yet.

I keep my eyes on the floor. Every time the trauma doors open my heart stops, then starts again too fast when there’s isn’t any news.

Cain comes out eventually. His shirt still has Miles's blood on it. He speaks quietly to Mason first, then his eyes find me in the corner.

He walks over and sits down beside me without asking. For a moment neither of us speaks.

“I think we should get you checked out,” he says eventually, voice low. “Lileah brought some clothes for you.”

I shake my head. The movement is small, tears come before I can stop them, spilling down my face and dripping onto the sleeve of the hoodie.

“I don’t know what Miles told you about me…” My voice breaks completely. Cain is quiet for a second.

“Everything,” he whispers.

The single word lands harder than anything else tonight. I cover my face with both hands and sob, the sound muffled and raw, because if Miles told him everything then he knows exactly what I am to him… and he still might not wake up.

“You should let the doctor look at you,” he says quietly. “Not just for evidence, but for you. You’re hurt, you’re cold and you’ve been through more than anyone should. Letting them check you over doesn’t take anything away from Miles. It might actually help you stay strong when he wakes up.”

I stare at the floor. My hands are still shaking inside the sleeves of Mason’s hoodie.