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I stop dead in my tracks when he shakes his head. It’s one small movement. It’s not unkind, not cold. It’s just no, not now, not this.

Mason straightens. He looks at me with an expression I can't fully read, apologetic maybe, or something more complicated than that and then he pulls out the chair Lileah just vacated and sits down across from his brother.

I stand there for a moment, then sit back down.

Juno says nothing, which is the loudest thing she's ever done.

I pick up my coffee and look out of the window and think about the bruising on Miles’ face and the way he shook his head to stop me. Why is he stopping me?

***

Ghost still hasn't replied. I feel like I’ve lost the only two men I was… I stop before I say the word out loud about myself.

I sent him a message last night because I really needed to talk to someone, but nothing.

The violets are still appearing. There were fresh ones yesterday morning, the same as always, with the same care, and the same placement. He's still coming in. Still here in the most impossible physical way while being completely absent in every other way.

That disconnect sits in me like a splinter: small, precise, and impossible to ignore. I hate that Miles and Ghost are both ignoring me.

I open the contact on my phone. I read back through the conversation. The last message I sent four days ago, is still sitting there unanswered. Then I type another message.

Sadie

I know you're still there. The flowers tell me you are. I just don't know why you've gone quiet, and I don't know what to do with that.

I put the phone in my bag and go to my next class. I spend the entire lecture not hearing a single word from either of them.

I walk into my dorm, smiling at the flowers on my counter, and take my phone out when it starts ringing.

It’s Dan, I’m not sure I’m in the mood for him today, but I answer it anyway.

“Hello.” I sit on the couch.

“Hi.” His voice is different. Clearer. "I wanted to tell you something," he says. "I talked to my counselor about the money. She helped me apply for a state funded program. It’s extended residential coverage for people whose private insurance has lapsed." A pause. "It came through this morning."

I sit very still, not sure what to say to him.

"Dan."

"It means I don't need the money, Sadie. Your savings…"

"Dan."

"You should keep it, it’s yours. You should have kept it from the start. I should have done this months ago instead of calling you every time things got hard." His voice drops. "I let you be the solution because you always were. I need to stop doing that."

The back of my throat tightens.

"Why didn't you do it sooner?" I ask. I’m not angry, just curious.

"Because calling you is easier," he says. "You fix things. I've been letting you fix things since Mum and dad left and I…" He stops. "I'm trying to change that."

I look at the violets on the counter.

"Okay," I say. "That's good, Dan. That's really good."

"Are you angry?" he asks, his voice drops a little.

"No."