Page 87 of Let Me Keep You

“The gym,” she says, which makes sense by how toned her arms and legs are. It’s obvious they have working out in common.

“Alright then,” Tyler interrupts. “Ruby and I have plans, so I’ll see you Monday,” Tyler tells me before shutting the door in my face. I walk to my car more frustrated than I was when I arrived. My mind is reeling, and I don’t know why my emotions are bouncing around like a ping-pong ball. As I back out of the driveway, angry tears stream down my face. I’m pissed at myself, and my confusion isn’t helping.

When I get home, I sit and turn on the TV, but I’m not paying attention to it. I replay everything when Tyler came over that night. Is it possible that I exaggerated what happened? That I felt something he didn’t, and he was just going through the motions?

There’s no way.

His body responded just as quickly as mine. Did he say it meant nothing because he’s dating Ruby? I flipped out right after he gave me the best orgasm I’ve had in years, then told him it was a mistake. I asked him to forget it and leave. Perhaps I should be happy that he moved on.

Even if he is dating someone, it shouldn’t matter.

Leaning my head back on the cushion, I close my eyes and slowly inhale. I feel absolutely ridiculous for going over there. If I could take it all back, I would. If I hadn’t lost control and gave myself to him, I wouldn’t feel so damn guilty and confused.

It’s never felt that way with Robert, not even in the beginning. And it’s supposed to, right? I’m supposed to feel like I’m floating on cloud nine with fireworks as I succumb to him.

Admittedly, there have been numerous times when Robert couldn’t make me come during foreplay or sex. With Tyler, my panties were drenched before he even touched me. Though it’s wrong, Tyler touching me like that is what I fantasize about when I’m alone. He’s always known my body better than I do and still has every inch of me memorized.

When we were together in the past, we shared more than just a physical attraction. We’ve always had a deep emotional connection, and it made the sex even better. Though we’ve changed, the chemistry between us hasn’t.

I’m a blubbering mess, and I need to calm the hell down. It’s not too early to drink, is it? Fuck it. I go ahead and have a glass of wine that soon turns into three, and before long, the whole bottle’s gone. With heavy eyes, I lie on the couch and watch the Hallmark channel until I fall asleep. Hours pass and I’m woken by a text message from Everleigh.

Everleigh

Any plans tonight?

Gemma

No. I’ve already drank a bottle of wine.

Everleigh

Girl. It’s only 4 p.m. What’s going on?

I want to spill all my secrets. I want to tell her so fucking bad because she’s my best friend, but I don’t even know how to start the conversation. She’s already doubted Robert so much that this would only add fuel to the fire. Not to mention, I cheated with her brother.

Gemma

I’m just…I dunno. Questioning everything again.

Everleigh doesn’t reply for a little while, but she’s also in the process of closing the boutique.

Everleigh

Want to hang out and talk about it?

Gemma

I’d rather drink myself stupid and go to bed.

Everleigh

Adulting at its finest.

I want to ask her if she knows if Tyler’s dating someone or that there was a woman at her house, but I don’t want to start anything.

Gemma

I’m a hot mess.