Page 47 of Harbinger

Kieren holds me, feeling so solid and warm and real that for a heartbeat, I almost believe things will be okay.

“What are you doing here?” I manage after a moment, my voice cracking in my aching throat.

“I’ve been trying to see you for the last three days.” His arms tighten around me like I might slip away. “Broderic wouldn’t tell us what they did with you. Isidore has been asking around. Andry too.”

This only makes me cry harder. Not abandoned. They’ve been looking for me. I pull away and draw a shuddering breath until I’m able to speak. “Did Broderic tell you what I said?”

“He told me what you said, what you decided,” Kieren says quietly. “But he lied to Isidore and Andry and said the queen won’t let you go home.”

Broderic was protecting them. I was protecting them. That’s how it’s always been. We protect each other.

“I didn’t mean it.” It’s a confession I can only make to my best friend.

Kieren forces a half-hearted grin. “I told him that you were full of shit, but he never believes me.”

There is an edge to the words that tells me all is not forgiven between the two of them.

And I won’t be there to fix it, to help them put the pieces of their relationship back together.

“Broderic finally told me that you were leaving Wintour. I couldn’t let you go without …” He trails away like he can’t bear to say the words, either. “Is it true? What they’re saying about your mark? About the king?”

“Some of it.” I can’t manage more than that without falling apart again. But Kieren seems to understand. He always does.

I bite my lip. What in the world happened between when the queen offered protection a few nights ago and the city filling with assassins? I’ve had too much time alone for a thousand questions to form about what it means to be marked as a Ravenell. About whether all the old stories are true. Or what will happen when my magic finally manifests.

“Where are they taking you?”

I swallow around the knot in my throat. “I have no idea,” I admit. “I was only told I’m leaving a few minutes ago. Bishop is sneaking me out of the city. He says people will be distracted by the funeral.” I don’t mention the sudden need to leave the capital. Mainly because Bishop hasn’t bothered to share what “things changed” other than the obvious. I’m a threat that needs to be managed.

“I was thinking the same thing about the crowded ceremony.” He glances down at my pants. “Good. You’re already dressed for riding.”

My chest tightens. That’s why he’s here. Not to say goodbye …

“We don’t have much time.” He grabs my hand and tries to tug me off the seat. “Let’s get out of here while we can. We can reach the coast in less than two days.”

Something splinters in my heart. Something I know will never fully heal. The part of me that wants to leave with him. The part of me that believes we can do it. The part of me that was foolish enough to hope I could outrun consequences.

That girl is gone now. I sacrificed her in place of the oscen.

“There’s nowhere for us to go,” I say quietly.

“The Lost Continent,” he says without missing a beat. “We can sell the horses we take when we reach the nearest port. It should be enough to buy us passage—”

“I want to, Kieren. I really do.” I shake my head, continuing quickly when he opens his mouth to object. “But I’m sorry. I can’t go to the Lost Continent.” Not with people hunting me.

“I agree,” Bishop’s gravelly voice cuts in. He pushes open the curtains, his gaze narrowing on mine. “Patron Velesont will be expecting that.”

And they control the ports. We wouldn’t even make it onto a boat.

I turn my gaze back to Kieren and reach for his other hand, holding them both like they need to carry more weight than ever now. “You’re the only security our family has,” I whisper.

He scoffs. “I’m hardly security. I’m not even trained.” His eyes turn pleading. “Arden, I—”

“You’re strong and can use a sword. That’s more than Isidore. More than Andry.” Each broken piece of my heart sharpens into resolve. “You have to protect them. They’re not safe now.”

He stares at me like he’s looking at a stranger. “Broderic can do it.”

“And who is going to watch out for him?” Why does this have to be so hard? “I need you to watch out for him until …”