Page 100 of Harbinger

“And before.” Kieren releases me with a weary sigh. “He stopped negotiating the arrangements for the outpost with Broderic to investigate himself. I suppose it makes sense. I would be on edge if two murders happened right under my nose.”

Kieren might be, but Bishop? The night of the Quincentennial flashes through my mind. He was watchful but calm. After the Petition, he knew exactly what to do, where to take me, how to hide me. It’s just another reason Bishop and I will never see eye to eye. Death doesn’t even faze him enough to warrant him mentioning it.

“And that’s why we need to go,” he says, jolting me from my thoughts. He pauses for a second like he’s screwing up his courage. “At midnight. We can head to the Lost Continent. I already have a contact. He hangs out at The Last Drop in the village. We can be on open sea by sunrise. Before he even knows we’re gone.”

“You really want to run away?” I ask slowly. “With me?”

Treason. I swallow, and the word begins to churn inside me.

Kieren offers a sad smile that makes my stomach turn over. “That raven-mark isn’t going away, and when your magic awakens … You can’t go back to Damalis. We both know that. But you can’t stay here, either.”

The words feel too close to the truth, like he’s peeled something raw out of me and shoved it in my face. I don’t want him to be right—but I’m afraid he is. I’m the one living with this mark and what I might become. I pace in a tight circle, hugging my arms around my waist, suddenly aware of the chilly air.

But the knot of dread inside me tightens. Right now, the mark of Ravenell on my chest is the least of our problems. He’s so focused, so worried about me, he doesn’t understand the mistake he made. “If you desert,” I say, forcing each word past the lump in my throat, “you’ll be charged with treason.”

I can’t let him risk that, but how is it any better than him joining the army?

“Tomorrow, I swear my pledge to Order Marius. Once they put their mark on me, I’ll be lucky to take a piss without someone knowing,” he says, and the weight on my chest grows so heavy I can hardly breathe. Kieren shrugs as if this is just some boring fact. I want to grab him and shake him, make him see what he’s done by coming here, but I just stare as he continues. “They can’t track me before then. That’s why I need to go tonight. I already have passage arranged.”

My legs threaten to give out from under me. He came to the Bellatorum to find me. That’s the only reason, or he would already be on a boat to the Lost Continent, off to have his adventure. Not about to commit treason.

“Kieren …” I search for the right words through a dizzying rush of panic. It’s all happening so fast. Too fast.

He swallows and takes a step back. “I understand if you want to stay. But I don’t have a choice. There’s nothing left for me here. I thought …”

He pauses, and I’m not certain I want to know what other foolish belief led to his recklessness.

Something rustles in the closest bramble, and I jump, looking over my shoulder quickly to make sure we’re still alone. My heart thrashes against my ribs. If someone overheard us …

No one’s there. Still, my pulse refuses to slow.

He moves closer and plants a gentle hand on my wrist, calling me back to the moment. “We could have a life. Not as Icaros or Ravenell or any of that shit. Just us. Somewhere people don’t care about the Stars or magic or birthrights.”

The thought settles like a warm blanket, calming me just enough to help me see his point. But there’s something else. It’s not just that people don’t care. Different stars hang over the Lost Continent. There will be no magic to awaken. I close my eyes, almost dizzy with the possibility.

But when I open them, the stars are still there—cold, distant, unmoved by things as trifling as hopes and dreams—and panic floods back through me.

I fight it. I need a clear head. “Kieren,” I say slowly, “maybe you should stay.”

I can talk to Bishop. Make him promise to keep my best friend here. No matter what.

But Kieren shakes his head. “I’m only here for you. If you don’t want to come, I’ll understand.” He glances toward Miradores, eyes narrowing like it’s the reason I’m hesitating. I don’t have the energy to argue. To try to make him see how big of a mess we’re in. “But I’ll wait for you at the crossroads that lead to Wolf’s Keep until midnight. If you don’t show, I’ll assume you made your choice.”

It’s so black-and-white to him, but the whole world feels gray around me. What am I going to do?

“I’ll think about it,” I whisper.

That seems to satisfy him. “I’ll be waiting.” He takes one step before stopping again. “Meet me at midnight.”

Then he turns and slips away, vanishing through the back gate without a sound.

I watch the empty path for a long time, my heart thundering louder than the waves below.

I’m more lost than ever.

I stumble back into the house. Vessica’s shrewd voice drifts from the great room, followed by a cheerful burst of laughter from Taliesin. They sound … normal. Because they belong to this place in a way I never will. Kieren never will. A gust rattles the windows like it’s got a score to settle, jolting me back to reality. There’s no time for a pity party. I only have until midnight.

I head away from their laughter to the servant stairs off the kitchen, hoping I find a solution to this mess on the way. But as I climb the first step, I’m no closer.