Page 41 of Cruel Dynasty

“Is that what you think about Spencer?”

“Why would I feel differently about him?” I asked.

“I thought that was our entire problem: you feeling differently about me.” He took a step closer and the sleeve of his sweater brushed my arm.

Tiny sparks crackled over my skin as if my body sensed his nearness. I shifted away from him. Nothing good could come of too much contact with Holden. “What are you going to tell him?”

“That’s difficult.” Holden took a deep breath as if he hadn’t quite decided. “Perhaps, we can reach an arrangement?”

“What do you want?” My fingers gripped the edge of the counter, and I braced myself for his demand. I’d barely managed to get the question out of my mouth before it went dry. This was what I’d expected since he’d called me out that night. I’d known it was coming. But I didn’t feel angry or afraid, just a little nervous and under that something that felt dangerously like excitement.

“You want me to keep this—and I’m just going to say it—ludicrous plan from my brother.”

“He’ll know eventually or…”

“Or?” he prompted with obvious interest.

“Kerrigan will return, and it won’t matter,” I said simply. Nothing about the plan had really changed other than the time table and the slight hitch of Holden knowing the truth.

“Is that what you think? She’ll just come back and do what her daddy tells her?” Holden shook his head in disgust.

“I don’t care what she does. That’s her problem.”

“But you don’t care what mess you make of her life until then,” he accused.

“Is that what you think?” The storm inside me broke free and I whirled to him. I jabbed a finger into his hard chest. “All I do is worry about fucking things up for some woman I’ve never even met! You can be self-righteous if you want. But don’t judge me for taking the chance someone dropped in my lap! You’ve never been hungry. You’ve never worried about if you’ll have a roof over your head that night. And you sure as hell have never wondered why you were even born!”

There was a pause. But if I thought Holden was digesting my tirade I was wrong, because a moment later he laughed. It was flat and harsh, sounding more like a bark than amusement. “Is that so, dirty girl? You told me your secret, so let me tell you one of mine.”

“I don’t give a fuck about your secrets. Do whatever you want, Holden. You’re going to anyway.” I pivoted toward the door but he grabbed my wrist.

“Yes, I’m rich. Yes, my life looks perfect. But you’re wrong about one thing. I have spent ninety percent of my life wishing I’d never been born.” He loosened his grip on me. “So, I guess we have that in common.”

But he wasn’t going to trick me into feeling sorry for him. “Poor little rich bastard,” I spat back. “What did you do for the other ten percent: fuck everything that moves?”

“You really want to know? The other ten percent I was with her,” he murmured, catching me off guard. He dropped my wrist and turned away from me. “Go ahead and laugh.”

But I didn’t, because it wasn’t funny. Not at all. Shame washed over me like a sudden downpour, cold and unwelcome. I don’t know why I felt guilty for what I said, but I did all the same.

We stood there in total silence. We’d finally shown our cards, but neither of us were holding the hands we thought. He had really loved her. I no longer doubted that. I just didn’t know what he planned to do about it—or me.

“I’m not going to tell Spencer.” His announcement cracked the silence. “On one condition.”

I swallowed. I’d agreed to this charade, knowing there would be consequences. I couldn't escape them now nor would I try. I still owed it to myself to think about my own interests. I was the only one who would. “What do you want?”

“One day.”

“Of what?” I asked in a strained voice. “Sex?”

This time he chuckled. “For twenty-four hours we do whatever I want. My rules. My way. Take it or leave it.”

“Take it,” I said through gritted teeth. It wasn’t like I had a choice.

18

Holden’s clock began the moment I said yes, so I was surprised when he wished me good night at the stairs and proceeded to his own room. The next morning I found myself staring in the wardrobe wondering what to expect. I’d shaved my legs and all my other bits, which felt a bit presumptuous, but I couldn’t imagine that Holden was going to keep his hands to himself. Not when he had an entire day to do whatever he pleased with me.

A tremble of anticipation rolled through me, and I closed my eyes trying to will it away. It was an entirely inappropriate response. “You’re doing this because you don’t have a choice,” I reminded myself. “You have to look out for your own interests.”