Page 13 of Cruel Dynasty

“Actually,” Iris said thoughtfully, “that was the wrong question. Do you want to do that?”

This time it was my mouth that fell open. I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. There was no way that she had just asked me if I wanted to have a threesome with the man I was arranged to marry and his twin brother.

“I mean, the chemistry between you and Spencer is undeniable,” she continued. “And Holden is identical to him. It’s not exactly a hardship to allow two handsome men to take you to bed.”

“Oh my god.” I wished a hole would open and swallow the car.

“Sorry. I’m being nosey.”

“No, I just…” There were so many things that Iris didn’t know. Some of them she could never know. But there wasn’t an ounce of judgment in her questions. It was like she knew I needed to talk. The trick was talking without giving too much away. “I was a virgin when I met Spencer.”

“And now you’re not,” she guessed, a smile playing on her lips. “But you don’t have a lot of experience.”

“I don’t really know about any of these things,” I admitted. “I mean, how would you even…” I caught myself before I could finish the thought, blushing furiously.

“Judging from what you said, they could show you.” She didn’t bother to hide her grin now.

I buried my face in my hands. It was so hot I thought I might actually have caught on fire.

“I’m sorry,” Iris said softly. “I shouldn’t tease. There’s lots of ways it could work, but only if you want it to happen.”

I peeked up at her. “I think it would be a bad idea.”

“Why?”

“They’re too competitive. I already feel like I’m caught in a game between them. I don’t want to cause more problems. Besides, it’s wrong, isn’t it?”

“As long as you’re doing what you want with whomever you want, there’s nothing wrong about it. But if you think it’s going to cause problems then you should consider if the price is too high.” Iris covered my hand with hers and squeezed. “Follow your heart. It will know what to do.”

I wanted to tell her that my heart wasn’t the one likely to get me into trouble. It was the trollop between my legs causing all these problems. But the truth was even more complicated. How could I follow my heart when it wasn’t my life these decisions could affect?

The car pulled up to the gates, pausing for them to open, and I smiled gratefully at her. “Thank you.”

“For what? I don’t think I was very helpful.” She laughed, shouldering her purse as the car pulled into the circular driveway to the front entrance.

“For not thinking less of me,” I said quietly. “You know, for even thinking about…”

“Women give up so many things for house and home and husband and children. A woman should never feel guilty for taking something for herself, especially pleasure. Men owe us that much.”

“I guess they do,” I mused as the driver opened my door. I stared up at the estate. I wouldn’t feel guilty for having desire just like I wouldn’t feel guilty for taking control of my life, even if it was only a little control. Iris might have been talking about my relationship, but she’d hit upon something more far reaching than romance. No matter what I’d promised Tod Belmond, this was still my life. I deserved to know what was going on, and I wouldn’t wait a moment longer to find out.

We made our way inside as the staff brought in our purchases. I’d consoled myself after being forced to order the perfect gown for my wedding ruse by buying every scrap of lingerie the boutique offered. Iris had gotten in on the fun, as she’d called it, and I did my best to ignore exactly whom she planned to wear the scanty underthings for. But while I looked forward to seeing Spencer’s reaction when he saw some of the items I’d purchased, which ranged from bridal innocence to kinky vixen, it had done nothing to squash the anxiety burgeoning inside me.

“Do you want to have a cup of tea?” Iris asked, shedding the Philip Treacy hat she’d worn to the appointment. She passed it to a waiting maid.

“I think I’d like to change and have a few moments to myself,” I said with a hint of apology.

But as usual, Iris understood. “Of course. I’ll have the kitchen bring up a tray for you. If you do want to talk more, just let me know. I’m never far.”

I nodded, a lump sitting in my throat. Iris was too kind. It made me feel guilty for keeping Tod’s plan from her, and I’d begun to worry about what would happen when the real Kerrigan returned home. I’d been told that she didn’t like her young stepmother. The more I built a relationship with Iris, the worse it would hurt her when she found out the truth. And I’d begun to realize that she would have to be told. Still, I couldn’t stand the thought of being here when she found out the truth. She’d been so kind and I’d lied to her every moment. But I also didn’t know how I would have managed even the one month of my arrangement that has passed without her.

A sudden swell of emotions propelled me forward and I caught her in a hug. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Iris sounded surprised and amused but she returned my embrace warmly.

“For being here.” I knew all too well that people didn’t always show up in life. I’d lived most of my life alone until this point. The days of counting Iris as family might be numbered but I’d cherish each and everyone of them.

Giles was waiting in my bedroom. He looked as though he was bracing for a storm with his shoulders squared and his chin raised. I blew past him, refusing to meet his eye. I didn’t speak until I heard the suite’s door close behind me.