Page 48 of London Dynasty

“Rival?” I repeated. I had expected him to say that.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it? Although, I suppose he looks like he’s winning. I’m not certain that being forced to carry on the Byrd name and inherit all that responsibility is much of a prize. I’m much happier being the one with no expectations resting on my shoulders.” He paused before adding, “We do have the same taste in women though.”

I kept my eyes trained on the scenery out the window, not daring to look at him as he said this. “That must be complicated.”

“It’s never been a problem.”

“It hasn’t?” I said, not able to hide my disbelief.

“Not yet,” he said with meaning.

“Because you share them,” I said, realizing the truth. They took turns, so neither had to make any hard choices.

“It’s always been better than fighting with each other,” Holden said in a dark tone.

“Has it?”

His eyes flashed to me and I saw a muscle tense in his jaw. “You wouldn’t understand.”

I needed to drop this topic. I knew that, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. There was something about the way that Holden spoke which made me think of the secrets that lingered in Spencer’s eyes. There was more to the story.

Holden sighed, drumming his thumbs on the steering wheel, before he finally began to speak. “When my dad was alive, we did everything together. Spencer loved nature. We could never get him to come inside.”

“And you?”

“I was into books and painting and sculpting. Big nerd,” he admitted sheepishly, “and then I discovered girls.”

“Did you discover them first?”

“I’ve always been an early bloomer,” he said with a smirk. “And then Dad died, and everything changed. He was supposed to be the one to inherit the title and the responsibility. He’d been groomed for it. Suddenly, my grandfather had to consider which one of us was more suited to take his place.”

“How old were you?” I asked softly.

“Thirteen,” Holden said miserably. “We went from being best friends to being pitted against each other at every opportunity. Grandfather made our family move into Sparrow Court, so that he could make sure we were raised with a proper male role model.” Bitterness coated his story, and without thinking I reached out and placed my hand over his on the steering wheel. His eyes flickered to it, but I didn’t let go.

“Why? What was the point of doing that to you? You were children.”

“You know better than to think any of us can be children. We’re heirs and heiresses. All the money in the world and none of the choices, right?” he said with a hollow laugh. “Grandfather’s excuse was that he could die any moment and he had to know that the family name and title would be passed to the right one of us. It was relentless. We went to the strictest boarding schools. We were forced to abandon any interest we had that didn’t align with politics. We hated every minute of it, but the worst part was that we were starting to hate each other.”

“And then Spencer won?” I understood now why Holden was bitter. Why he played the part of the charismatic scoundrel of the family. It was easier than admitting defeat.

“No,” he said, surprising me. “I lost.”

“You didn’t lose,” I started to say, feeling a rush of sympathy, but Holden laughed.

“It was the only way to win,” he explained. “I chose to lose. I knew what was at stake. I could grow up hating my brother and being forced into a life that neither of us wanted, or I could be the failure no one bothered with. So I took the easier road. I became the fuck up. I got into trouble. I got kicked out of schools. I was uncontrollable. Wild. And somehow that was easier for all of us. It was easier to write me off and let me do as I please. Grandfather put all of his time and attention into Spencer, and I simply became the charming bachelor you see before you.”

“Is that what you are?” I asked him quietly. More and more, I could see the cracks in his act.

“I think you’ll find that in our family, we all have our roles to play. I hope you understand that.”

“I understand what’s expected of me,” I said simply, withdrawing my hand. My heart hurt for him. It hurt for the boy that had lost his father and nearly lost his brother. I understood what it was like to feel trapped with no options. I understood what it was like to become what they wanted you to be rather than what you might have been if given enough time and respect.

“At least you can’t say I didn’t warn you.” He didn’t look at me the rest of the way to Hampstead. I got out of the Jaguar in silence. Before I was through the gate, he rolled down the window and called after me. “Kerrigan?”

I stopped and waited.

“If you were mine, I would never share you.” Then he threw the car in reverse and drove away.