Page 52 of Breathe Me: Smith & Belle

“It was an accident.” I frowned, wondering if she was going to ever let me touch her again. I wasn’t being punished for the thing with Nora. This was about something else. The other night? Or had I fucked up worse than that?

“In that case…” Belle started toward the door.

“Are you going to keep punishing me?” I called after her before I could stop myself.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, remember?”

The dismissiveness of her tone needled me. No, I hadn’t done anything wrong, but that wasn’t going to stop her from continuing to give me the cold shoulder. Until I could get her to admit what was bothering her, I had no hope of actually doing anything to change it. But if she was going to persist in believing that I was keeping pictures of my dead wife in my desk or that I enjoyed having a young, beautiful nanny around the house, I didn’t know what I could do about it. I’d gotten rid of Margot’s picture. I had no interest in Nora. Did I need to fire her and hire some old woman from the village? I would do anything if it meant Belle would be happy again.

“If you think—” the chime of the front door cut her off mid sentence. She groaned, throwing back her head. “We’ve been getting deliveries all day. Jane sent something. Clara and Alexander sent gifts.”

"Your friends miss you,” I said carefully. “We never talked about going back to London for Christmas.”

"Everyone has plans by now,” she snapped, turning on her heel to walk out of the room. I was two steps behind her when a familiar, and very welcome, voice floated up the staircase from the landing below.

“Is this the welcome I receive? Usually I expect a parade.”

Belle’s head whipped around to me, surprise on her face and one name on her lips. “Edward?”

"I thought you needed your best friend,” I said, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. I swallowed against the sourness I felt, reminding myself that I would do anything for her, even if I wasn’t the one she really wanted. I stepped past her, brushing one hand across her forearm. “I wish I could give you everything you need.”

We stared at one another for a moment, me searching her eyes hoping to catch a glimpse of the woman who felt so far from me now. She looked at me, her expression unreadable, before her eyelids shuddered close, and she whispered. “You have. Thank you.”

Something broke inside me. I’d given her what she needed, delivered her best friend—someone she might actually talk to—but the victory felt hollow. I wanted to be that person for her. Until the last few weeks, I thought I was that person. We lingered there for a moment, hearing the faint welcomes of Humphrey and Mrs. Winters, acknowledging Edward’s arrival below us. Finally, Belle turned and started toward the stairs. Without thinking, my hand lashed out, grabbing hers. “Find your way back to me, beautiful.”

She opened her mouth, but then her teeth descended into her lower lip, and she continued down the stairs without a word.