Page 50 of Breathe Me: Smith & Belle

I withdrew and her legs closed ever so briefly as I pushed her up on the bed. They opened again as I climbed over her and joined her again. I rocked slowly inside her, wanting to reawaken this part of our love gently. We’d begun our relationship violently, taking with a hunger that had turned to obsession. Now we had the rest of our lives to enjoy one another. I wanted to savor that.

“You feel amazing,” I murmured, lowering my mouth to kiss her.

She accepted my lips, but she didn’t respond. I pulled back, holding my body over her with one arm and bringing my finger to trace her face.

“Is this okay? We can go slower.”

Belle arched up and kissed me again, but there was nothing passionate about it. It was mechanical and forced and I found myself slowing down as I tried to understand. Maybe gently wasn’t the way to bring us back together. I increased my pace, hammering against her and calling her to me.

“Come for me,” I urged. “Show me.”

Her eyes opened and the flash of blue released me, but as I emptied inside her, it wasn’t Belle staring back at me. But where she should be, there was nothing but a hollow void.

I rolled off her, reaching to hold her but she turned away and made herself small, tugging her knees to her chest. I felt sick. My fingers brushed her shoulder.

“I love you.”

There was no response.

I stayed like that until I was certain she was asleep. It was all I could. I wasn’t even sure she wanted me there, at all.

I went back to my office, defeated, knowing exactly what I had to do. I dialed Edward’s number, uncertain he would answer. He’d gone to even greater lengths than me to separate himself from the Royals. He answered on the third ring.

“She needs you,” I said.

“What’s wrong?”

“She’s lost, and I can’t find her.” I sank into the chair, burying my face in my hand. “I’m scared there won’t be anything left of her to find soon.”

There was a pause. He had a decision to make. But we both knew there was no real choice. “I’ll be there as soon as I can get a flight.”

I hung up with him, hoping that whenever that was, it wouldn’t be too late.