Page 56 of Cross Me

“It doesn’t look good, though.” Henry exhaled heavily then offered a weak smile. “I’m sorry to bother you with this. I’m certain, you have enough concerns.”

Like my out-of-control husband and a fresh scandal to maneuver? “It is my responsibility when it involves my family.”

“Your family?” Henry scratched his chin for a moment.

“Alexander,” I said slowly. “His behavior is my concern.”

“Ahhh.” He nodded as if this now made sense. “But it is not your responsibility. Don’t confuse the two.”

When I spotted Anders a few minutes before the race, I fixated on his black eye. How the papers hadn’t picked that fact up, I didn’t know. But it was obvious to me now what had happened.

That was why Alexander had wanted me to leave with him. It hadn’t been a simple fight with Brex. Anders had been involved. Now I understood. Maybe Alexander saw Anders’s invitations as crossing a line. Maybe his paranoia had finally warped his brain. I had to face facts. Alexander believed Anders was a threat to our marriage. It hurt he would believe that. It didn’t matter that Anders was only a friend. Alexander should have taken me at my word. Why couldn’t he trust that things were innocent? Why did he always have to jump to irrational anger?

Henry found me as the announcers began their commentary. This afternoon, we’d be in a box. I was grateful I didn’t have to face Anders on the track. I would apologize for Alexander’s actions. But no excuse I could come up with would make up for the fact Anders was right about Alexander. He was controlling. Maybe he did need to be taught a lesson.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Henry said. A dozen or so other people were in the box to watch the race, but I found a quiet spot by the window so I could be alone with my thoughts. “Will Alexander be joining us this evening?”

It hadn’t occurred to me that others might notice my husband’s absence or expect him to be here. “I forgot to mention that he left for London this morning. He couldn’t stay.”

“That was probably wise.” He gave me an appraising look as if to ascertain how I felt about it.

“I thought so,” I said pointedly.

“He has my brother’s temper,” Henry said, his words full of regret. He placed one hand over mine on the railing. “Albert was a hard man to love. Elizabeth always told me that.”

My eyes flashed to his, searching them as though they might hold answers. “Albert talked about her like their marriage was perfect.”

Henry loosed a low laugh and shook his head. “Their marriage was like any other marriage, except more demanding. Liz felt stifled by him at times, crushed. In the end, their love became more about duty than genuine affection.”

“I’ve never heard anyone call her Liz before. Not even your brother.”

“We were close—united by our love for Albert as well as our concern for him. We were a two-person support group. Not unlike you and Edward, it seems. Liz needed allies. I imagine you will, too. She told me once that it was impossible to love a king, because she loved Albert as an equal and he saw her as a subject.”

My throat closed at his words, tears threatening to give away my own fears. Albert had told me once that Elizabeth had understood her duty. I thought that meant she was obedient. Now, I realized it was a warning. She had been expected to fall into line. I would be expected to as well.

“I don’t know what’s going on anymore,” I admitted. “Alexander’s changing and...”

“It scares you?” Henry guessed.

I nodded, my eyes on the track as the cars began to fly across the pavement. I hadn’t even realized the race was starting. I owed myself more than this, allowing myself to be distracted from the work I’d chosen by Alexander’s behavior. “I don’t even know where things have gone wrong. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“The course of true love never did run smooth.” Henry squeezed my hand.

“Shakespeare could do a lot with this story,” I muttered.

“He could do a lot with this family,” Henry said conspiratorially. “If there’s anything that I can do…”

He left the offer hanging. I wanted to trust him—to open up to him—but something held me back. He was still Mary’s son. Albert’s brother. But wasn’t that the problem with this family? Everyone believing that everyone else was beholden to a destructive pattern of behavior—their entire lives choreographed for them from birth. Alexander and Edward had tried to change that. Didn’t I owe it to all of them to push them harder in that direction? What other way would things finally change?

“He seemed on edge here,” Henry noted. “It made me wonder if…”

I waited, wanting to finish the sentence. “Wonder what?” I pressed.

“But it would be impossible.” He shook his head, muttering to himself. “How would he have found out?”

“Henry,” I said, trying to draw his attention back to me. “What is it?”

His pale blue eyes turned to me and stared through me. He looked so much like his brother, but the tentativeness on his face was his own. “It’s just that if Alexander knew that—”