Page 39 of Cross Me

“You look like you had your hands full, and my job is to be useful.” It was just like Georgia to remind me that she wasn’t doing something out of the goodness of her heart. She paused when we reached the front door. “Does Alexander know Elizabeth is coming?”

“He will.” I left it at that. I had no doubt he would be getting a briefing on my every movement—probably on the hour.

“Let me rephrase that,” she said. “Did you tell him that Elizabeth was coming?”

My lips thinned into a line. It wasn’t her concern. “I don’t tell my husband everything.”

“You really should’ve taken my advice,” she whispered. “I told you he has certain needs.”

“Maybe he did,” I said, “but people change.”

She didn’t respond. She didn’t have to, because smug was written all over her face. Let her think what she wanted. That wasn’t my husband’s problem.

Our conversation fell away as we trudged out into the cold February morning. My heart pounded as I tried to ignore what Georgia had said. Every time I thought I might be able to stand Georgia Kincaid, she reminded me why I hated her in the first place. Brexton and several others had the cars ready and warmed up, but he did a double take when he saw I had Elizabeth with me.

“Do you need to call him and tattle on me?” I snapped as he opened the door.

“He told me you could handle things,” Brex said smoothly.

I doubted Brex believed that. Elizabeth’s child-seat was still in the vehicle, thankfully, so I buckled her in and carefully arranged the straps around her coat. Brex opened the other door and doublechecked my work.

“Did he tell you to make sure I knew how to put our child in her seat properly?” I asked coldly. It was going to be a long day if everyone treated me like I didn’t know how to be a mother.

He sighed and straightened up. I did the same, glaring at him over the roof of the Range Rover.

“It sucks being between you two all the time,” he said. Then he stomped around to the driver’s side.

I wasn’t being fair. It wasn’t Brexton’s fault Alexander was being unreasonable. He hadn’t been the one to spill the news of my pregnancy to the press. That had been my husband. The trouble was that my husband wasn’t here, and I was angry. Between Alexander’s actions, Georgia’s words, and his hovering over me like a mother hen, I was left to wonder if anyone thought I was competent as a wife, a mother, or a queen. Heat prickled in my eyes and I blinked back angry tears. I wasn’t about to let any of them see me cry. That would definitely get back to Alexander.

We rode the few miles to Silverstone in stony silence. I turned Georgia’s words over and over in my head. Was she right? Did Alexander treat me like a fragile creature because he didn’t see how strong I was? Our sex life had always been brutal and passionate. I didn’t see that there was anything lacking. But I knew submission wasn’t about sex. It was about control—me giving it to him. I enjoyed playing. I enjoyed it when he tied me up or spanked me. But I told him once that I’d never be able to give him complete power over my body. Hadn’t I, though? I trusted him no matter how hard he pushed me. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d used my safe word. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe I’d kept the one thing away from him that he needed to soothe the beast inside.

I didn’t have longer to consider it before we arrived. Brexton turned out to be more helpful than Georgia in the baby department. He gathered Elizabeth from her seat, helped make certain I had everything I would need, and carried her inside.

“There she is,” Henry said, darting over when he spotted me. His eyes lingered momentarily on Elizabeth.

“I got her,” Brex said. “You do your thing.”

I was grateful for the help, until it occurred to me Brex might have seen holding Elizabeth as a security precaution. It was easier to keep Elizabeth safe if he had hold of her. Had there been some other threat? Maybe it had been a mistake to bring my daughter here, and that was why he was sticking close. They probably all thought I was the worst mother in the world. I fell into the fear spiral so quickly that it took physical effort to shake it off. It didn’t matter why he was doing it. I couldn’t see every situation as dangerous or every helpful gesture as having a hidden motivation.

Brex kept her most of the day, finding me for nappy changes and crying fits only a mother could soothe. We’d adopted a disused office as my temporary headquarters. We needed a place where I could close a door and shut off the fumes from the cars. Brex set up a small playland in the corner on a blanket, producing a surprising number of toys to keep her occupied. I definitely hadn’t packed that many into the diaper bag. I decided to go with it.

When Anderson Stone showed up at noon to go over his schedule, he bypassed me and went straight to Elizabeth.

“There’s a photo opportunity,” Henry said as we watched Anderson drop down next to her on her blanket and start playing blocks.

“We’re not using my baby as a photo op.” I couldn’t imagine what Alexander would say if that showed up in his newsfeed in the morning.

“It’s probably for the best,” Henry said with a sigh. “We’d have uncontrollable swarms of women here as soon as they saw it.”

I suspected we would be dealing with that anyway. Anderson looked up at me and winked. I grinned. I couldn’t help it. Did he just go around oozing sex appeal and charming women and children? He probably wasn’t lonely often. Still, I couldn’t imagine being involved with a man who flew around the racetrack in a metal cage at a million miles an hour. I walked over to them, leaving Henry to sort out the latest scheduling crisis.

“She likes you,” I said, watching as Elizabeth thrust a block at him with a chubby hand.

“All the ladies do,” he said. He put it on the stack they were working on and Elizabeth clapped.

“Well, she is easy to impress,” I said dryly.

“That was harsh, but it’s always good to keep a man’s ego in check,” he admitted with a laugh.