Page 76 of Consume Me

“I was informed you don’t like darjeeling,” I said, dumping the cup in the trash at the door. I had no idea why I’d carried it all the way back here. Maybe some things were harder to let go of than others.

“What happened?” Clara sat up her seat, studying me anxiously.

“I spoke with Edward.” I didn’t have to say more.

Clara’s hand flew to her mouth. “Oh my God. Where is he? Is he here? I should find him.”

“He left. I don’t know.” I ran my hands through my hair, trying to understand my sudden need for brutal honesty. What purpose had it served to tell him the truth? “Why didn’t I lie? Fake an accident?”

“Because that’s what your father would have done,” she said softly.

“I broke his heart.” I hated myself for hurting my brother this way. Why had Smith given me that gun? Why hadn’t I thought about what would happen?

“David broke his heart. He knew what he was doing,” she corrected me.

“I pulled the trigger.” Nothing would change that.

“And he walked into that room.” Clara shook her head. “I’m not asking you to get over it. I don’t know if you can. I don’t know if I can. But he made his choice. Believe me, I gave him a chance to change his mind. Did you talk to him about abdication?”

“No. It didn’t seem important.” Given that was all we’d discussed the last two days, it seemed crazy. “Plus, it will only raise more questions.”

I couldn’t give up the throne without speaking to my siblings, but that meant coming clean to them about Norris. I wasn’t certain it was the right time.

“Maybe it isn’t important.” Clara had allowed me to do most of the talking about what it would mean if we stepped down. This was the first time she’d expressed an opinion.

“What does that mean, poppet?” I asked.

“It’s not my choice, X.”

“Yes, it is. We do this together, right?” This life. This job. None of it meant anything without her by my side.

“We do, and we’ll keep doing it together no matter what you choose.” It wasn’t much of an answer.

“And what should I choose?” I’d cut my wife out of too many decisions, deciding what was best for her. I wouldn’t make this one without her input.

“What makes you happy,” she said simply.

I took her hand and held it, feeling a tingle of electricity at her touch. “You. You make me happy.”

“Well, you’ve got me no matter what,” she promised and left it at that.

Chapter 29

CLARA

It wasn’t the normal protocol to wait this long for the official royal birth announcement. One of Alexander’s grandmothers had notoriously held out for nearly two months to spite her husband. But that had been decades ago, and with the advent of social media our decision to keep the details of William’s birth private for nearly a month had speculation at an all-time high.

I did my best not to listen to any of it. It was enough, caring for a recuperating newborn and juggling a toddler. Buckingham suddenly felt as though it was bursting at the seams and empty at the same time.

It had been nearly a month since I’d spoken to Edward. I’d tried, but when Belle told me to respect his need for distance, I took her advice. At least he was speaking to her.

Three weeks ago, Sarah had been moved to Kensington Palace where Henry was keeping a close eye on her—along with a massive security team. She’d come to see the baby, failed to look me in the eye, and had left crying.

It felt like my family was falling apart at the same time that it felt stronger than ever.

Alexander strode out of the shower with a towel hanging off his hips just as I sat down to nurse William.

“You aren’t ready,” he said, looking me over.