Page 47 of Wicked Queen

“She should be able to handle this. She should be a normal twenty-six-year-old. She should have gone to university. Maybe gotten married. None of those things happened, and I don’t know how to help her choose to be an adult.”

“What happened to her isn’t your fault,” I reminded him. Alexander may have kept the secret but he wasn’t at fault for the events that led to her coma.

“It was my friend who gave her the drugs.”

“And you were trying to get her home.”

“While I was drunk.” He turned on his side to face me. Reaching out, he brushed a finger down my cheek. “I’ve been laying here wondering what it would be like if I’d been the one in that coma. I never would have met you. I wouldn’t be King. I’d be a boy still.”

“Maybe I would have fallen in love with Sarah,” I teased, but the joke was as flat as the air between us. “What-if’s are only a gateway to madness.”

“Yes, but even though I know all of this—even though I understand—I’m still angry with her. I’ve had enough…” he trailed away. “Get some sleep. You must be exhausted, and we have the games this weekend.”

I kissed the back of his palm and snuggled into the pillow, but sleep evaded me. I knew what he was going to say: he had enough to worry about. I wouldn’t add to that stress by sharing Georgia’s opinion.

But now I knew I wasn’t alone in how I felt about Sarah’s return. It was the one thing none of us were saying.

I wished she’d never come back.

Chapter 17

Clara

It was strange to be at the Sovereign Games as an audience member. How had it only been months since I’d hosted the first event? Weeks since I’d handed the reins to Edward after learning the truth about Anderson Stone? It felt like lifetimes had passed. So much had happened, and, yet, I found myself crammed in a tent making small talk with familiar faces that I’d once met but obviously forgotten.

Relief washed over me when I spotted Henry in the small crowd, particularly since his mother was nowhere in sight.

“You look lovely.”

I checked my fascinator, grimacing so only he could see. “I’m afraid I’ve never gotten used to the hats. Don’t tell anyone or they’ll kick me out.”

“You’re secret is safe with me,” he assured me.

I still relied on advice from Belle when it came to events like this. She’d insisted I wear the new green dress from Tamara’s and then sent over a peacock-plumed fascinator that would have looked stunning on her, but that I suspected made me look ridiculous. I couldn’t help feeling as though a bird had landed on my head. I kept this thought to myself, knowing even a friend would find it scandalous coming from the lips of the Queen.

Henry’s wool officer’s jacket, on the other hand, fit in with the old money ensemble here. He nodded to people as they passed. I imagined he never forgot their names.

“More relaxing to be on the sidelines, I imagine,” he said, after greeting a few distant relatives. He eyed me up and down. “Or maybe not?”

“I don’t miss having one more thing to do.” I patted my stomach. “This is taking up most of my time.”

But that wasn’t true. Drama was taking up my time. Alexander’s troubles with Parliament and our new family member made a high-risk pregnancy feel less important than it probably should have been. Instead, I used it as an excuse.

“And there’s the other complication,” he added.

“Complication?” I asked. “There are a lot of complications in our lives. You are going to have to be more specific.”

“Anderson.”

“Oh, that.” I turned toward the jumping competition, wishing he wouldn’t bring it up.

“I suspect it wasn’t just the pregnancy that took you away from us,” he said meaningfully.

“It was the pregnancy, mostly.” And it was. The baby’s health and focusing on keeping my stress low meant that I’d needed to step away. But a big part of managing my stress was staying away from Anders and the tension he caused between me and Alexander.

Maybe it would have been different after I found out the truth. I suspected that Alexander was more anxious about his brother and wife unwittingly becoming friends than he was about Anderson’s confusion regarding his feelings towards me. My husband knew my heart belonged to him. Then again, Alexander had shown a jealous streak before.

“I was concerned Alexander might demand it,” Henry murmured, clapping at some feat on the field.