Page 2 of Wicked Queen

I flinched at his words. I hated the way he made it sound. Mostly, because Norris had a clarity in viewing problems that most people lacked. When he coupled that with the blunt edge of truth it was harder to pretend he wasn’t right.

I wasn’t going to admit that to him, though. "It's just a bump."

He didn't question me on this, but his silence said more than enough as he took a seat across from me. One of us was right and one of us was wrong. I knew which was which, because I couldn’t lie to myself even if I tried to lie to him. This wasn’t a bump.

"I don't have to tell you that we have a delicate situation developing,” he said, changing the topic to an equally unpleasant one. “Sooner or later we must make the announcement. It would be best if the revelation didn't come on the heels of news that Clara is sleeping in another bedroom."

Maybe we hadn’t changed the topic of conversation after all.

“I don’t want to push her,” I said softly.

“She’s not going to leave you.”

I sucked in a breath and shook my head. He couldn’t be certain of that. I’d chosen not to marry some idiotically bred aristocrat who would place stock in title and appearance. This wasn’t a political marriage. It was a marriage of love and trust and passion—and I’d cocked it up.

“She doesn’t trust me.” It felt as if my chest might split open saying it.

“She will, but you have to talk to her,” he said pointedly.

“I know, but I have to catch her first.” I hadn’t been trying very hard. Usually, our fights ended in angry, nearly violent sex. I suspected this one wouldn’t. I’d be lucky if she let me touch her again. “Why didn’t I tell her?”

“I don’t know.” His words were heavy as if he’d asked himself the same question.

I swallowed, unsure if I was ready to spill the truth into the open. Norris knew me and he’d stood by me through worse, but it was still difficult to admit the truth. “It never even occurred to me.”

A muscle in his jaw twitched slightly, which was the only indication he’d heard me. Part of me wished he would berate me, or yell, or punish me in some way.

“Nothing to say about that?” I pushed. It felt even worse to have it out in the open than I’d imagined.

“What didn’t occur to you?” He measured each word, speaking through gritted teeth. He already knew the answer.

“It didn’t occur to me to tell Clara about…” I buried my face in my hands, unable to continue. I didn’t know what it said about me that I hadn’t kept this a secret from my wife so much as I had ignored it altogether. It hadn’t been important to share this with Clara, because for all intents and purposes, the woman in that room was dead to me.

And now she wasn’t.

The truth was, I’d had plenty of opportunities over the past few weeks to tell her. When my father died, I’d taken over the responsibility, which meant getting occasional updates from Norris, but not much else. After another attack on my family, I’d increased security on everyone, including her, but I still hadn’t told my wife. When Clara suggested Windsmoor as Edward’s wedding present, I’d had another opportunity to come clean. Life had given me chance after chance, and I’d thrown them all away. There was no one to blame for this mess but me.

“Clara is your life now. She gave you a chance to start over and you took it,” Noris said, finally breaking the silence dragging between us.

“That doesn’t excuse what I did.”

“No, it doesn’t. But you can’t change what happened in the past.”

“That sort of thinking is what got me into trouble in the first place,” I muttered.

“Not thinking is what got you into trouble,” he corrected me.

He had me there.

“If I may,” he began. I suspected whatever he was about to say wasn’t going to be gentle. “Some space between you and Clara isn’t terrible.”

“It isn’t?” I sat back in my chair, shaking my head. “It feels terrible. I haven’t so much as touched her in nine days.”

“Exactly. You two need to work on your communication.”

“Our communication is fine,” I snapped.

“Your communication is unique and not always effective.” He folded his hands in his lap looking positively ecclesiastical.