Page 92 of Widow Mayker

“On the other hand, we want to protect her,” Adir added. “I want to protect her and save her because I couldn’t do that for Nina.”

My heart was too weak to accept anymore crushing news. However, Adir mentioning my mother touched a sliced open a wound that was already bleeding for the man down the hall, tied to life support.

“What are you saying?” I asked Adir.

“One night, Nina came here covered in bruises. I offered to handle the situation. She refused to let me.”

“You should’ve made her let you!” I hissed angrily. “It’s your fault—”

“No!” Poppa barked. “You won’t stand here and blame anyone for that nigga’s wrongdoing. Be angry, yes. But that anger is not reserved for the one muthafucka who tried to help Nina.”

Tears fell unchecked down my face. Poppa was right, but I was too upset to care who was right.

“You should’ve made her,” I whispered tearfully.

Adir smirked. “Funny thing is, I’m lookin’ at the carbon copy of Nina Storm. Last I checked, she for damn sure doesn’t let anyone tell her what the fuck to do or how to do it. Matter fact, she’s big on boundaries and handling shit the way she sees fit. There’s no bullying her into submission or none of that shit. Am I right, May?”

Being confronted with the truth caused my eyes to drop to the floor.

“I couldn’t save ya mama. I’ll be damned if I don’t save you. I’ll be damned if this family loses you.” Adir touched my chin and brought my gaze back to his. “Now, you ready to walk alongside me? Or you want to let this anger consume you?”

“You were there?” I questioned Adir. How else would he know what the hell I was doing?

“Every time, baby.”

And he never tried to stop me.

“I want to be angry that you went against my wish to be without security,” I replied. “But I’m thankful that you never let me out of your sight.”

“Never,” he assured me. “I would’ve handled Jerell on my own, but I didn’t want to rob you of the opportunity.”

Peering at the only father I would ever acknowledge, I said, “I love you, Poppa. Give me your blessing…please.” I didn’t want to hurt him. His blessing allowed me to move without the heaviness of his disapproval. Now that he knew what I was, it mattered to me that he accepted this part of me.

“Mama would be devastated if something happens to you. I’ll be devastated if something happens to you.” I’d never really seen Poppa fighting tears.

I walked into his arms and laid my head on his chest. I didn’t offer him any words of encouragement. This life was dangerous. There were no encouraging words for the shit I was capable of, or the shit that could happen to me.

However, I was putting it all on the line to avenge my man.

***

Finally gathering the courage, I wiped the remaining tears from my face and made my way down the hallway. Mr. Gunner, Carmen, Junior, and Amaré were positioned outside of Vonshae’s door, offering me some time with him. I hugged his parents and offered a tiny smile to his brothers. The tears flowed again, though, and I was unable to stop them as I walked into the hospital room and peered at Von’s body.

For a second, I broke my gaze away and stared at the floor. Hearing the beeping sounds of the heart monitor, the whooshing sound of the breathing apparatus pumping air into Von’s lungs, and the sniffles coming from outside, I nearly broke and ran out of there, but I let my feet carry me to Von’s bedside.

Without a second thought, carefully, I climbed onto the gurney and laid against his body. I ran my hand down his unshaven face and over his closed eyelids. Since the day I met him, he’d grown more gray hair. It made him sexier than he already was.

“We made promises to each other,” I wept softly. “You proposed to me. Don’t you even care? You can’t leave me.” No matter what I said or how much I cried, his eyes didn’t open. I must’ve laid there for a while because I fell asleep. When I awoke, I was still stuck to his side. My eyes were sore and gritty from crying, and my throat hurt, too. My face felt swollen, and my body ached. Still, I had work to do.

Leaning up, I kissed Von’s cheek.

“I have a secret to tell you, Von. I’m not who you think I am.” I touched my fingers to his lips. “You see, I used to be a very happy kid. Then, my father decided to destroy all of that. One day he turned into someone I didn’t know. Several times, I watched him beat my mother. She tried getting away.” I broke down, recalling the day my mother decided she was going to take me and make a run for it. “We almost got away, but he found us. He used his badge to inflict trauma on us.” And because of that trauma, I almost missed out on the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“I tried, Von. I tried to leave the pain of losing my mother behind me. I went off to college, met new people and became really close to someone. Her name was Cassidy. She was older than me, but we hit it off from the beginning. With my track record concerning officers, I was upset to find out that Cassidy’s boyfriend was a police officer. She went home for the summer and wasn’t there a full day before he took her life. That was when I became…me. Losing her triggered me. It thrust me back to the time I lost my mother.. So… I killed Raphael. With a thirty-eight. Afterwards, I positioned his body to look like a man tied to a firing range. Truthfully, that was what I feel he deserved. I let him off easy.”

I kissed Von’s lips and sighed. “Jemell was my seventh kill. I let him off easy, too. As for his brother, Jerell… He won’t get the same leniency. By hurting you, he hurt the very thing that I’d been trying to protect since I met you. My heart.”

I laid back on his chest and said, “You once told me that you were close to catching your suspect.. I hate to burst your bubble, baby.” Giggling, I added, “You were never close to catching me.”