Page 16 of Dickathlon

She laughed. “It’s okay, dear. I have five sons and two grandsons. I’ve seen a lot of balls in this house.”

And then we had to pause the movie because all of us were laughing too hard. It stayed paused for a good while because as it turned out, the subject of balls brought up a lot of stories. Dad had to tell the one where Owen thought he ruptured a testicle at baseball practice in high school. He had never been hit in the balls before, and had no idea it hurt that bad. Not something the rest of us could say since Owen delighted in sharing his discovery with his younger brothers.

Owen’s wife, Christa, explained that Casey’s balls didn’t drop right away, so it was all she and Owen could talk about for weeks. They actually celebrated when the first one dropped. Coincidentally, it was on New Year’s Eve.

There were a few others and by the time we started the movie, no one was paying attention to Luke’s reproductive organs anymore, though that didn’t stop his insecurity.

“I am mortified,” he whispered.

I squeezed his thigh. “Don’t sweat it. It’s no biggie. Aren’t you into public nudity?”

“Shut up!” He pushed off of me and punched me in the shoulder. It didn’t hurt, but I pretended it did to soothe his embarrassment.

We watched the rest of the movies in relative peace, pausing only in between for a bathroom break for everyone and a replenishment of our beverages and snacks. Mom made a batch of her famous oatmeal chocolate chip cookies earlier and I had hid a few so that I’d have some for later. It was the one time each year I didn’t think about what I was eating. It was always an enjoyable week.

It was after midnight when Luke and I finally settled into bed.

“Merry Christmas, Ty.”

“Merry Christmas, Luke. Good night.”

“Night,” Luke said, and took his place, nestled into my chest, arm over my stomach.

And there’s the sigh.

I needed Declan to answer my damn text already. And if he didn’t, I’d have to face reality and move on. If I could find a guy that didn’t skeeve me out.

“Merry Christmas, bro! You guys are the last ones still in be-”

I flickered my eyes open to find Pierce staring at me. In bed. With Luke wrapped around me like a fanny pack.

“Uh. I’m gonna…I’ll be downstairs.”

He backed out with his head down, eyes covered, and shut the door behind him.

Well, shit.

4

Declan

BEVERLY HILLS

Another Christmas Eve, another Moore Christmas Eve party.

Every year, my parents flooded the house with their friends to show off their lives. Not that they didn’t have a life worth showing off, but when I asked why they had it year after year, they said gathering everyone together was their way of celebrating friendship. But I couldn’t help but be a little cynical as I put on the suit my mom had rented for me to wear.

After all, everything had to be perfect. Including me.

And while I looked damn good in it - stopping to check my freshly waxed eyebrows in the mirror - I much rather would’ve been in gray sweats and a tank top. She didn’t have a problem with my tattoos, but—I could hear her voice in my head—you don’t have to advertise them, do you?

Despite my objection to this much fabric, I knew my parents loved this time of year, and I wasn’t about to let them down. Even if Ian was going to be here with his parents in tow. They attended every year. After all, they were my parents’ closest friends, and Ian was mine.

Except he wasn’t.

Everyone just thought that, and Ian and I had pretended since junior year of college, for Ian’s sake really.

Well, Ian pretended for Ian’s sake.