Page 66 of Knot So Romantic

“Do you want to sit?”

This small talk is not why I came here. We both know that. We need to address the real issue. “Neel, can you please tell me what happened at the event? I know something happened. You became so different. So quiet. And then you gave me an excuse and left. I can tell something is wrong. I’ve been worried since then.”

Neel’s gaze drops to the floor, and he lets out a sigh. “I don’t know what you want me to say,” he says finally.

“Start with the time I left you alone to go find my parents. I was going to take you to meet them. I want to hear what happened when I was gone.”

He’s quiet for so long I almost wonder if he’s going to say anything at all. He lifts his arms over his head and drags them through his hair, looking up at the ceiling. I enjoy the view of his bare chest and abs for a tiny moment before my heart clenches tight with anxiety.

After a long, quiet moment, he slowly puts his arms down and looks at me. “Kavita, I’m not sure I can do this.”

I close my eyes and count to ten, trying to slow my breathing. But my lungs feel constricted. I’m not sure I can even breathe. “I think I need you to explain a little more than that,” I say softly.

And then Neel is across from me, sitting at the edge of a sleek leather couch, his expression somber. “It was mortifying. I can’t even begin to tell you what happened.”

“I want to hear everything.”

“I felt so out of place among all the young men and women. Someone even called me ‘Uncle,’ and it was—”

“Neel, it doesn’t matter what others think of your age. I don’t care about that.”

He stands up and starts pacing the room. “Your mother tried to set me up with another woman closer to my age. Your parents want to find you a young man to marry, and I’m not young by any stretch of the imagination. I don’t even feel eligible to meet your parents!”

Okay, there’s a lot to take in here, but I guess I knew we were going to have to talk about this. I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.

“Neel, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Mom is always pushing people onto others. I know you weren’t prepared to handle that.”

He drops onto the couch again. “She was so sure this other woman and I would hit it off because we’re so similar in age and circumstances.”

“Yeah, Mom’s like that. She always thinks she knows everyone better than they do. But eventually, she’ll have to back off.”

“That’s exactly my point,” Neel says, rubbing his temples. “I overheard people discussing a potential marriage proposal for you. Your parents want that for you. Your mother will not back off when it comes to you. You’ll be breaking her heart by choosing me. That’s all it is.”

It’s true. I’ve been trying to get my mother to give up. It’s not easy, and I’ve failed more times than I can count. But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying.

On one hand, Neel’s worry shows he cares about my family. He doesn’t want to disappoint them or me.

On the other hand, I don’t want to give up on what matters to me. Being a single woman of a certain age in an Indian family comes with its own set of challenges. My family wants the best for me—the most eligible man—which only adds to the pressure. It’s not easy for them either.

But ultimately, it has to be Neel’s choice whether he wants to be with me or not. That thought settles in my stomach like a rock, making me break out in a nervous sweat.

I take a seat next to him. “And do you know what would make me feel better?”

He scoffs, his eyes piercing into mine. “I don’t know if being with a man who looks old enough to be your father would make you feel better.”

I inch closer and gently touch his arm. “Neel, I know I messed up. I should have told my parents about you earlier. I’ve made stupid decisions in the past. I’m not perfect, and I’m still figuring things out. My parents and their desire that I marry ‘the right man’ are challenges for me too.”

It’s too much, too soon. But I know I should have handled this sooner.

I open my mouth to say so, but before I can, Neel says, “When people fall in love, Kavita, they get to date. Openly. Not hide it from the world. That’s not going to be us. I don’t think you thought about that at all.”

I feel my defenses rise. “So, you’re saying I only get a chance at happiness if I give up on us?”

“That’s not what I mean. But maybe you’d date and marry someone your parents would approve of.”

“Oh my God,” I say, standing up. “Do you hear yourself right now? Neel, you knew my parents might not approve. I never hid that from you. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.”

“I know that. I know.” He runs a hand through his hair and stands up. “I’m making a mess of this.” He shakes his head. “I just wish we could go back to when it was just the two of us.”