Page 42 of Knot So Romantic

My life has been a non-stop hustle to earn more to support my family, leaving no time for relationships. When my dad died, I had to take over the business at a young age, despite competitors circling like vultures, waiting to take over. But I had to care for Mom and Elena. I couldn’t give in. I struggled, learned the hard way, and worked tirelessly to keep the business alive and growing. In all these years, I’ve rarely thought of myself or my wants.

Even when Ramya showed me a little kindness, mostly after I had given in to her demands, I initially mistook it for love. I was so wrong.

With Kavita, it’s different. The more time we’ve spent together, the more I find myself wanting to share parts of my life with her, to talk to her about something I’d sworn never to discuss.

She smiles at me as I drain the cup and set it down. “Feeling better now?”

I can smell the lemony shampoo in her hair as she leans closer. I want to let that linger for as long as it can.

“We never had any children,” I find myself saying. “But it was because she had no interest in having any.”

“But you’re so good with kids!” Kavita exclaims, her eyes wide with surprise. “You were so great with Manjula’s son. Did you not want kids of your own?”

“I wanted Ramya to be happy. And I love kids, yes. But if she didn’t want them, I was willing to give up my wishes.”

“It’s awful to have to give up something like that in a marriage,” she says softly.

She looks at me, not with sympathy, but with something else. Tenderness?

I take a deep breath. “It was an arranged marriage,” I tell her. “I was facing pressure from my family to settle down. Ramya was my mom’s distant cousin’s daughter. We didn’t get to know each other too well, but our families wanted us to get married. I thought at the time that our marriage would be fine.”

“Then what happened?” Kavita asks gently, encouraging me to go on.

“We seemed to be doing okay despite the difference in social status. I didn’t see any red flags. Until her family started demanding money.” I pause and let out a breath. “For many years, I helped them out.”

“Until her family’s greed became too much,” she continues, following my train of thought.

“Yeah, I finally put my foot down and refused any more payments. She filed for divorce after that. Since her family was mainly interested in my money, they negotiated a big settlement, claiming I was impotent.”

The memory of also losing Grandma’s heirloom ring, which Ramya had declared lost during our divorce, stings, but I push it aside.

“So, why call you now?”

I sigh. “I honestly don’t know what she wants now.”

Kavita squeezes my hand. “I’m so sorry, Neel.”

I shudder, remembering how ugly my marriage turned out. The scars still run deep, making me wary of relationships.

Yet, when I look into Kavita’s eyes, something shifts. Despite my fears, I want her. I crave everything I thought I’d given up on. Everything I convinced myself I didn’t need.

I’ve never admitted how I feel about Kavita, even to myself.

While I believe I’m not the right guy for her and that I don’t deserve someone like her, I can’t help wishing our circumstances were different.

But, at the same time, I’m terrified of losing her. Of ruining what we have.

If I had met Kavita years ago, I know she would have been the one for me. The realization hits me like a thunderbolt.

I want to kiss her so badly. To hold her close. My whole body’s screaming for her. Right here on this couch. I want to get lost in her, feel her warmth. To hear her whisper my name.

There’s one last thing to say before I lose my nerve. “Just so you know, those rumors about me...they’re not true. At all.” I laugh nervously, feeling my cheeks heat up. “I can’t believe I’m actually saying this out loud.”

Shifting forward, she puts her arms around me and buries her face in my neck, taking me by surprise. Her lemon scent surrounds me, slowing my heartbeat. I breathe her in, every bit of me sinking into her warm hug.

Her body melts into mine as I put my arms around her, my fingers sinking into her soft curls, never wanting this moment to end.

She brings her lips to mine and kisses me. It feels nothing like the soft kiss by the lake. This kiss is passionate and long. She moans as I kiss her back, pressing herself into my chest.