Page 61 of The Christmas Accomplice

There was nothing Welton could say after that, so he fled up the stairs and into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He leaned over the sink and splashed water on his face. With the faucet still running, he put his hands to either side of the sink and stared into the mirror.

Merry fucking Christmas, Welton Monroe. Anyone else in your life you’d like to alienate?

Welton had always held back when they’d been together. Dean was a much freer spirit and Welton felt he had to assume the role of the responsible party in their relationship. Someone had to make sure things didn’t get out of control. Even from the beginning, in a dark corner in the back of his mind, Welton knew they were simply too different to be able to stay together. If they were going to break up anyway, why spend time opening himself up to potential mocking or criticism?

He shut the water off and dried his face. Leaving the bathroom, he went straight to the bed and climbed under the covers fully dressed. Closing his eyes, he willed the holidays to just be over already and turned onto his side, curling into the fetal position.

He heard Dean climbing the stairs. He kept his eyes closed and remained silent, hoping Dean would simply leave.

“I’ve known you long enough to know when you’re faking sleep.”

“Leave me alone.”

To his surprise, he heard the clink and rattle of Dean’s belt buckle and the sound of his pants hitting the floor. The crackle of static followed as Dean pulled off his sweater. Before Welton could tell him to not even think about it, Dean had slid into bed behind him and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him close.

“I’m not having sex with you,” Welton said.

“Would be hard to do anyway since I’m only under the duvet and you’re under all the covers. I’m keeping us on the up and up.” Dean squeezed him gently. “This is me comforting you, in case you don’t recognize it.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Welton said, but he was surprised to discover a little glow of happiness that Dean was there.

“I know. But I’ve already gotten comfortable, so now you’re trapped. Let’s just roll with it, shall we?”

Welton enjoyed the feel of Dean’s arm around him and his familiar form pressing against his back. He wished it was Reece behind him, but he doubted that would ever happen again. Whatever had developed between them had burned too bright too fast. There was no way it could have lasted. Especially not as a long distance relationship.

“I’m sorry,” Welton whispered.

“For what? Did you fart?”

That earned a quiet laugh, dammit. “You’re such a child.”

“Made you laugh, though.” Dean squeezed him gently. “I know what you were apologizing for. Don’t dwell on it, it’s in the past. But learn from what we went through. Okay?”

Welton didn’t trust his voice not to break, so he tucked his chin as he closed his eyes. Christmas would be over soon. Then he would fly home and he could get back to work, back to his quiet life. He had plans to get together with his D&D friends on New Year’s Eve, and he was looking forward to it. But maybe, just maybe, his resolution should be to work on opening himself up more to new experiences.

And to make sure he kept Dean as a friend.

Welton startled himself awake.He was way too warm. Sweat made his forehead feel greasy, and it had dampened the bottoms of his socks. The room was dark, and for a moment he didn’t know where he was or what time or day it might be.

Then it all came back. His heart clenched tight and his chest went cold.

He’d disappointed Reece and things had ended.

He’d never made Dean feel like he was a part of his life.

A life crowded with loneliness stretched out before him, and Welton used the edge of the sheet to wipe away tears. He wouldn’t be lonely, exactly. He had a number of friends he saw often and who understood him and enjoyed the same things he did. But they were all friends, and that was it. While friendships were important, he would miss out on that most intimate of connections, and it made him sad. Because he’d experienced it, for a few days at least, and now he knew he would miss having it in his life.

A dizzying rush of memories went through him, a montage of moments spent with Reece, and it made him feel agitated and restless. He threw off the covers and shivered in the cool air of the room as he checked the time on his phone, surprised to find it was after five in the evening.

A lamp in the first floor living room was on, the glow extending just enough over the half wall of the loft bedroom for him to see, and he looked over his shoulder at the empty other half of the bed. He recalled Dean holding him as he fell asleep, and a smile flickered once then went out. He and Dean would never be romantically involved again, but it was nice to be able to establish a friendship with him.

He stood and went into the bathroom where he sighed as he peed. His clothes were sweat-dampened, and he made a face as he stripped them off, then he got into a warm shower.

He definitely did not think about showering with Reece in this very same space. And he definitely did not think about kissing Reece while standing under the shower the day before, or Reece holding both of their cocks in one hand and jerking them off. Nope, he definitely didn’t think of that at all.

Had it really been just yesterday when he and Reece had made love?

Oh holy hell, am I really using the phrase make love now? What the hell has happened to me out here?

It sounded silly, but he knew there had been far too much of a connection between them for it to have been just sex. They really had made love.

He wondered how Reece was doing. Was he lonely as well, or did the hurt and anger at Welton’s deceit overwhelm that emotion? Would he ever find a way to forgive him? Would it even matter since Welton lived so far away?

A few tears spilled free as he considered a future without Reece. Never hearing his voice, never seeing his smile or kissing him. Never glancing over to find him looking back and feeling that zing of excitement. Never again feeling the way he’d felt the last few days.

And it’s all your own fault. You did this to yourself.

For a short time, Welton stood and let the spray beat against the back of his neck. It helped more than he’d thought, and when he finally turned off the water and grabbed a towel, he felt a little bit better. Not great, but better.

He would check out the room service menu. It would probably be more expensive than the restaurant, but he just didn’t feel comfortable going up to the main building. He didn’t want to possibly bump into Reece, give him the chance to yell at him, or, probably even worse, glare at him again without saying a word.

After dressing in flannel sleep pants, wool socks, and a fleece pullover, Welton headed down the stairs and sat on the couch for a while, staring at the fire. He could hear people talking and laughing as they followed the path past his cabin. Probably headed to the main building for dinner. Or maybe one of Reece’s activities.

A sharp twist of painful regret dug into his gut, and he flinched. He’d never be welcomed into one of Reece’s activities again. No more building snowmen or singing karaoke for him. He would definitely miss learning what Reece’s final activity was, and whether or not he got the promotion. He really, truly hoped Reece got the promotion, because he deserved to have one good thing happen for him this holiday.

Enough wallowing in self-pity. Either order some room service or put on your big boy snow pants and head up to the restaurant for dinner.

Since he didn’t think he was up to looking for his big boy snow pants, Welton got off the couch and grabbed the room service menu from the desk. What would make a good dinner to eat alone on Christmas Eve eve?