Page 72 of Off the Trail

“Well, he’s coming back, right?” she asks with concern.

“I don’t know. He said he was, but—” I’m afraid to hope for the moon. I’d settle for him not dying in a stupid airplane crash.

“He’ll come back,” she says as if there’s no question.

I decide I don’t want tea after all. “I’m going to bed.”

“Wait—can I talk to you about something?”

The last time she wanted to talk, she dropped some pretty big bombshells. “You and Rocky eloped?” I ask grimly.

She rolls her eyes. “No. But I thought with you and Shawn—I mean, I figured it would work better for everyone if I moved out sooner rather than later.”

“Oh.” I look at my sister. My beautiful, smart, grown-up sister. And it hits me—things are really changing. It’s not just her and me anymore. She has Rocky. She has an entire life separate from me. And I’m so proud of her I want to cry. “Yeah.” I sniff. “That makes sense.”

I guess I am crying, because she walks around the kitchen counter and puts her arms around me. “I don’t really want to move out,” she says, her voice muffled by my jacket.

“I don’t really want you to move out.”

“But I also do,” she whispers.

I sigh. “Yeah. Me too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Brooke. You being happy, safe, healthy. That’s all I want. And you’re doing amazing.”

“Yeah, I turned out good,” she says, pulling back and smiling at me. Her eyes are wet, and I let out another big sniff. “That’s because of you.”

It’s hard not to let the tears fall after that.

“You should be really proud of yourself,” she says. “I’m really proud of you.”

I crack a watery smile. “I was just thinking the same thing about you.”

“Well, we’re one proud family. But for real—you did a lot of hard things. You’ve earned this—your own space, your own life. And it’s not like I’m going to Canada. I’ll be forty minutes down the road.”

“Yeah, no, it’s good.” It’s a new chapter for both of us.

“And maybe…I don’t know. Things will work out with Shawn. Or if not Shawn, some other guy who’d be ridiculously lucky to be in your life.”

A few weeks ago I would have pushed the thought away, but I’m no longer afraid of loneliness, or of knowing what I’m missing. I’m only afraid that maybe I’ll never see Shawn again and won’t be able to tell him he changed my life.

I have his number. It’s not like I can’t pick up the phone and call. But being with him these last few weeks—maybe it was all a Sanctuary Lake dream. Maybe we’re not meant to survive the outside world.

I turn off my phone and go to bed.

Chapter 32

Shawn

The Laurels won. They pulled it off and lived to fight another day. Tomorrow, specifically.

“You’re my hero, man,” Jett says when the celebration is winding down.

I watched the game on the TV in the locker room, gritting my teeth at every strikeout, cheering at every hit. I couldn’t take watching from the dugout; besides, it would have been strange to have cameras on me. I’m not an official guest of the organization, only of Jett.

“You’re coming again tomorrow, aren’t you?” he says eagerly.