Page 52 of Off the Trail

“Sure, if that’ll get you out there.”

“Sounds great. I’m in,” I say, looking at his mouth.

His smile disappears, and I lift my gaze to his eyes. He blinks a few times. “You won’t be here when the snow comes.”

It’s unlikely I’ll still be living at the retreat when winter arrives, but at the same time, going back to my empty apartment, jobless and aimless, isn’t exactly top of my to-do list. I have more going on in my life here than I do there. But it’s equally wild to suggest I’ll be here then, working construction by day and going night snowshoeing with my boyfriend. I didn’t come up here to completely start over, just to get my head in a better place.

“True,” I say, but the answer doesn’t sit right in my chest.

Somehow, this trip isn’t turning out the way I thought it would.

Callie told me to think about what I want. Figuring that out has been fuzzy, like straining to see the far shore of the lake through the morning mist. For the last couple of days, though, it’s been getting clearer. I want to have a purpose—I want to be part of something. Being part of a team is the only thing I’ve ever really been good at.

But as Blaze and I eat and talk and clear the dishes, I realize there’s something I might want more. And that’s the man standing next to me at the sink, washing while I dry.

Chapter 21

Blaze

Shawn agreeing he probably won’t be here when the snow falls shouldn’t have thrown me into a mini crisis, but I have to fight to focus on our conversation as we clean up from dinner. What did I expect him to say—that he’d turn his life upside down to stay at Sanctuary Lake? To stay with me?

That’s never been part of the equation. But he’s quickly becoming a part of my every day—a part of my life. It’s going to be hard to lose that.

Especially with Brooke moving out, moving on.

Still, even if I don’t have anyone to share the too-big house and its lake view with besides my trusty dog, that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy Shawn now.

If Nolan knows I’m having dinner here, the entire retreat staff probably does. They’re going to assume Shawn and I are hooking up, even if they don’t say anything about it. I might as well take what’s on offer.

And I wasn’t lying before—seeing Shawn in construction worker mode was damn hot. So I’ve never been attracted to a guy in a hard hat before—well, there’s a first time for everything. Or maybe it’s only because it’s Shawn. The way he acts and the way he looks just does it for me.

Like right now, he’s got a dish towel in his hands, a spot of salad dressing on his plain blue button-down, his hair is spiky-messy, and he’s retelling a story Raphael on the construction crew told him about a bear encounter someone had in the next town over five years ago. He looks so good I’m tempted to sink down to my knees in the kitchen and show him how much I want him.

“It sounded kind of intense, but luckily, everyone was okay,” he says.

“You and bears.” I laugh. “You don’t have to worry about them, you know.”

“I’m planning to stay vigilant,” he argues, draping the damp dish towel over the back of a chair now that we’re done cleaning up. “It’s not like there aren’t any bears around here at all.”

“There’s actually one in this very room,” I joke, pointing to myself.

“What?” The adorably blank look on his face reminds me he’s new to this.

“I’m big and hairy and I gobble up hot little construction workers for dessert.” I leer at him, and it feels good to let myself go. He may be new at this—hell, I’m still kind of new at this—but I’m comfortable enough around him to crack jokes and be myself.

He blushes. “Oh god.” He covers his face with his hands. “That’s terrible.” He groans and laughs, and he’s even more adorable with the flush on his face.

“Sorry,” I say unrepentantly. I put my hands on his waist and walk him back against the kitchen countertop. I move my hands to the counter on either side of him, boxing him in, but I don’t lean against him like I want to. It’s too new, too fragile.

“There’s actual dessert if you want.” He jerks his head toward the fridge. “Chocolate mousse. Nolan said it was your favorite.”

“Tempting.” I’ve had Nolan’s mousse before. I haven’t had Shawn yet, not in all the ways I want him. “But I want something else.” I wait until he nods, and then I kiss him. The kiss turns urgent the second he puts his hands on my ass and pulls me flush against him.

Last night was quick and dirty, and not nearly enough to quench my thirst for him. Tonight I want him just as bad, but it’s not so raw. I can revel in feeling his body against mine, in his hands on me, gripping me hard. His mouth chases mine every time I try to pull away in order to taste another part of him—his neck, his earlobe. He doesn’t seem to want to give up the chance to put his mouth on me. In a fit of inspiration, I replace my lips against his with two of my fingers, distracting him with those, which, after a short pause, he takes into his mouth enthusiastically. Maybe he has an oral kink, but that works for me—he firmly sucks, and my dick hardens in anticipation of him sucking something else with that much fervor.

While his mouth is occupied, I run my lips over the curve of his jaw. He’s got the barest hint of stubble there, and he tastes fresh and clean, like he recently showered after putting in a hard day’s work. I make my way down, licking the pulse point under his jaw, sampling the side of his neck, brushing a kiss against his Adam’s apple. He gulps, and I do it again. He sucks my fingers to the back of his throat, and I’m so turned on it hurts.

“Bedroom?” I pant against his collarbone.