Page 39 of Off the Trail

“That’s amazing.” My eyes are dry, but my throat feels thick. “Rocky, huh? I’d better get to know this guy a little better.”

“I’d love for us to all get together soon,” she says, letting me go. Her eyes are damp, as if she wasn’t sure how I’d react to the news.

“Wait, why all the secrecy? Why did you wait so long to tell me?” I’ll decide if I’m offended or not after I hear her answer.

“I’m sorry,” she says immediately. “At first, we weren’t sure where it was going, so I figured it would be less complicated. And it was sort of nice to keep it just for us—you know?”

I don’t really, but I can imagine. I nod.

“But then I wasn’t sure what you’d think of me, of us.”

“Why? I’m not saying I don’t have questions—the guy is like ten years older than you, not to mention your boss—but I trust you to do what’s right for you.”

She tucks her hair behind her ears and shifts uncomfortably. “I don’t know. I guess, you don’t really date, and I felt⁠—”

I get it then. She thought I was too lonely, too pathetic, to be able to handle her being in a grown-up relationship.

“But seeing you with Shawn. I’ve been teasing you, and maybe he’s not for you, but there could be someone for you, and it’s okay if you want to go after something, someone, for yourself,” Brooke says in a rush.

It stings like a bare-chested belly flop onto the lake in December. I’ve always put her first, but somehow that’s backfired on me. She’s been holding herself back on my account.

“Well, I’m happy for you,” I say, my voice inexplicably raspy. “But you don’t need to worry about me.”

She gives me a small, sad smile. “I will, though. Because that’s what we do. We worry about each other. We love each other. We take care of each other. And that’s more important to me than anything. Truly.”

I can tell she means it. And I can’t deny being comforted by her words. She’s building her own life, but I’ll never lose her.

“So, you and Dr. Rocky,” I say, not ready to put all this into words. “How does that work…at work?”

“It’s fine. We keep things professional. I offered to find a new job, but so far we’re handling it.”

“Okay then.” I look blankly at the piece of paper with my inventory notes. It feels like there’s more to the story. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”

Brooke sighs and reaches out to touch my arm. “Rocky asked me to move in with him.”

I don’t get it until I do. “Oh.”

“We were thinking after the holidays. Maybe the new year.” She bites her lip, her eyes full of guilt.

She’s trying to soften the blow by not leaving me alone over the holidays. But that’s not the real issue.

“The house?”

She shakes her head. “I didn’t know how to tell you. You were so fired up about it.”

“You don’t want it.”

“You know I love the lake. I even love living with my annoying big brother. But living here forever—it’s not what I want.”

I know intellectually she’s not rejecting me or my life. She’s just choosing something different. But my heart hurts anyway.

“But look, you’ll be able to rent it in a second, or live in it yourself if you want. I was also thinking I should pay for some of the construction costs. I’ve been saving and…”

“Keep your money.”

She flinches, and I wonder if that came out too harshly.

“You don’t owe me anything, is what I mean.”