Page 4 of His Christmas Love Song

“You know we can work fast when we’re inspired. Come on, it’ll be fun. We haven’t written together in too long.” They’d been too busy touring over the past year to do much in the way of writing.

“It’s just that Christmas albums are so corny. Boring as hell, too.”

“So we’ll make ours edgy. Unexpected. Instead of mistletoe and reindeer, we’ll sing about cacti and tarantulas.”

That gets a laugh out of Ryan. Jesse’s chest puffs with pride. Making Ryan laugh never gets old, even after six years of working together, first as writing partners, then recording together, then performing, until now they’re a package deal. Ryan still does solo shows sometimes, and Jesse’s put out one solo album that was even nominated for a Grammy. This tour they’d been billed together, and it had been their best selling tour by far. Jesse owes everything he knows about the music business to Ryan and his endlessly patient manager, Sadie Darling, but he likes to think he’s taught Ryan a thing or two as well. Sam seems to think so, anyway. After the first six months of shadowing Ryan when they got back the States, she’d taken Jesse aside and thanked him, not only for bringing Ryan safely home, but for bringing him back to music.

“All the industry bullshit was making him ready to quit. I almost couldn’t blame him. But you’ve made him remember why he started in the first place. You’ve brought the joy back for him.”

He had been astonished at her words. He’d basically felt like he was a thorn in Ryan’s side since they got back. Not that Ryan had ever been rude or seemed like he wanted to take back the hospital room offer Jesse had shamelessly accepted. But he kept his feelings close to the vest. Jesse was pretty sure Ryan didn’t hate him, but it wasn’t until a few weeks after that conversation with Sadie that he let himself think that Ryan might actually like him. It was a late night in the recording studio working on Ryan’s take on one of Jesse’s songs. They were punch drunk and had finally nailed what would become their first big hit together. Ryan had slapped him on the shoulder, let out a bright, happy laugh.

“We got it! That’s a good one. Good job, Jess.” It was the first time he’d called him that.

After that night, they were friends. Six years later, Jesse could confidently say they were best friends.

But with all their success, with the memorable times they’ve had on the road and back home in Tennessee, there’s still something missing. Jesse’s mission is to make Ryan’s happiness a priority. He knows Ryan has complicated relationships with the music industry, with fame, with the fans. He knows if it wasn’t for him, Ryan might have bowed out a long time ago. But he also knows that Ryan loves making music. He loves to sing; he loves to play guitar. He loves performing to crowds who know every song in their repertoire so well they sing along to every word. Professionally, they’ve excelled. Which means that Ryan’s life can really only use an upgrade in one more department.

Love.

In the last six years, Ryan has had exactly two relationships that lasted more than a night. Jesse’s certain that if Ryan found the right guy to settle down with, maybe even start a family with, that would be the final part of the puzzle of his friend’s happiness. The problem is, Ryan makes it really hard for Jesse to help him find a guy. In the last few months, he’s completely stopped even going out for a drink with any of the eligible guys Jesse finds for him.

Jesse’s been forced to take extreme measures.

“So it’s just a Vermont lodge and we’re just going to do a writing session?” Ryan says, breaking into his thoughts. He tucks his water bottle into his bag, unplugs his phone charger from the wall.

“What else would it be?” Jesse asks defensively. He scrambles to make sure all his stuff is shoved into his travel bag.

“I just wouldn’t put it past you to have some arranged marriage thing worked out. You know, like 90 Day Fiancé or something.”

“No weddings planned,” Jesse says lightly. “But if you want to leave tomorrow in order to have a drink with Matt tonight, I’d be okay with that.”

“Matt the venue manager?” Ryan asks, forehead crinkling. “Why would I want to do that?”

“Because he’s single and nice and he thinks you’re hot.”

“He’s met me three times. I’m not going for a drink with Matt.”

“You wouldn’t go for a drink with Michael either, or the super cute guy we met in New York, Mitch.”

“Maybe you should stop setting me up with guys whose name starts with M,” Ryan says, double checking the room for any forgotten items. “Or better yet, stop setting me up, period.”

“Don’t you want to meet someone?” Jesse asks. They’ve had a version of this conversation every few weeks for a year now. “It’s been ages since you and Cameron broke up.”

Ryan had dated Cameron Keane for six months or so while they were in Nashville for a long stretch recording their last album. Then Cameron had gone on tour in Europe and that was the end of it.

“If Matt and Michael and Mitch are so great, why don’t you date them?” Ryan says, trotting out another of his go-to rebuttals.

“I’m doing fine.” Jesse has never been at a loss for company when he wants it. He’s perfectly happy with one- and two-night stands and friends-with-benefits situations. Ryan’s the one who’s built for monogamy, who will make an amazing partner and an incredible dad. But he’ll never get to that stage with anyone if he doesn’t even try.

“Well, then, so am I,” Ryan says. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I can’t help but worry about you, you know that. Ever since—“ He rubs the scar on his right tricep nearly unconsciously. The scar is a reminder of how close he’d been to never knowing Ryan, to losing him before he’d gotten a chance to make the best friend he’d ever had.

“Yeah, yeah.” The bitterness in Ryan’s voice takes Jesse aback. “You know, sometimes I think you should have left me in the damn SUV.”

“Don’t say that.” Jesse’s stomach aches. He knows Ryan doesn’t mean it, but it’s still hard to hear. “Listen, we’re both worn out from the tour. This break is going to be just what we need. We can catch up on sleep and work a little and by the time we head back to Texas for Christmas, things are going to be better.”

Ryan sighs. He rubs his eyes, then puts on a small smile. “Sorry I’m such a downer. You’re right. A little relaxation in the mountains sounds pretty good. And there’ll be snow, right? No snow back home.” His smile gets a little bigger, and it even touches his eyes. “Thanks for thinking of it, Jess.”