Page 14 of His Christmas Love Song

“Already ate, but I was out of coffee. I have to go check in at the clinic in a minute, but I wanted to come say hi. Make sure you’re doing okay.”

“Oh, you mean the bourbon.”

Hank raises his eyebrows. “You were a little hammered.”

“Nah, not that bad. I’m feeling pretty good.”

“Well, don’t forget to hydrate. Doctor’s orders.”

Ryan lets himself smile. “I won’t. And thanks again for dinner, it was great. Sorry about—”

“Don’t be sorry, Ryan. It was fun to catch up.” Hank leans across the table. “Jesse’s not with you this morning?”

“Still sleeping.”

Hank nods. “You know, if you ever need to talk, I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

“What would I need to talk about?”

“You didn’t have any trouble talking last night about the tour, and your music, and your family, and your views on the Nashville Predators, but there was one big glaring omission in your conversation topics.”

Ryan’s going to regret asking. “What was that?”

“Jesse Arlyn. Specifically, your feelings about him.”

If Ryan’s appetite hadn’t already fled, it would have disappeared at those words.

“He doesn’t know, does he?” Hank says kindly.

“Know what?” Ryan hates himself for asking, but there’s a part of him desperate to talk to someone who knows both of them. Could maybe help him get his head back on straight.

“How you feel about him,” Hank says patiently. “I get it. Half the girls and a quarter of the guys we worked with in the Corps had crushes on him. He was a little young for me back then, but I saw what they saw. He never seemed aware of it. He just flirted with everyone equally.”

“Yeah, well.” Ryan knows he’s barely better than a groupie, but it stings to hear someone else say it.

Hank frowns. “It’s not the same, Ryan. It’s none of my business, I know—”

“It sort of became your business when I kissed you,” Ryan mumbles. Jesus, this is one of the most mortifying conversations of his life.

“Look, you and I don’t know each other that well. The Corps was a long time ago, and we were only in Malawi for a few months together. But I worked with Jesse for almost two years. And as smart and as tough and as kind as that kid—well, I guess he’s not a kid anymore—as that man is, I do know he has a couple of blind spots. One is that he thinks he’s got to earn people’s respect by being what he thinks they need, rather than just being himself. For such a smart guy, he’s not the most self-aware.”

Is that true? Jesse is a bit of a people pleaser, Ryan will admit.

“But he cares about you, and after seeing the two of you together a couple of times, I’m going to offer you a little free advice,” Hank says.

Ryan lifts a skeptical eyebrow but listens. If Hank has a way for him to stop feeling like his heart’s getting run through a shredder every day, he’s all ears.

“You should talk to him about this. Spell it out for him. You might have to be a little bit brave, but it’ll be worth it.”

“That’s your brilliant advice? Talk to him?”

Hank’s apparently not offended at Ryan’s incredulous tone. “You might be surprised what happens. That boy may be dumb, but he’s not stupid. Who wouldn’t jump at a chance to be with you, Ryan?”

Hank’s gaze slides away from Ryan and his mouth goes lopsided and Ryan feels like a jerk all over again. He sidesteps one trap and falls into another.

“I know Jesse cares about me. But he doesn’t—he’ll never feel the way about me that I feel about him. You don’t know what he’s been like lately, always trying to set me up with other guys. Why would he do that if he had any feelings for me other than that ridiculous sense of responsibility he took on when he saved my life? I’m just an obligation to him. Someone he stands by because he’s the most loyal guy on the planet.” He knows he sounds bitter, and he knows Hank doesn’t deserve to be mixed up in this one-sided drama. He sighs. “You’re being way too nice to me, Hank. If I were you, I’d wish we’d never come to Pine Tree Lodge.”

The doctor reaches out, puts a hand on Ryan’s shoulder. “I’ll never be sorry you two walked through my door.”