Page 77 of Save Me

Maddox doesn’t break out of it.

What do I do?

Water has helped me when I need to break out of something. But I can’t just…throw water on him.

Then, I get an idea.

“Why don’t you take a shower?”

There’s a slight flicker of Maddox’s eyelashes. Slowly, gently, I reach my hand out in case he wants to grab it. Maddox doesn't flinch away, and for a moment, I see his hand twitch like he wants to reach for me.

Warmth floods me.

He doesn't reach, and I don’t force him.

Together, we walk up the stairs.

Together.

I hold onto that detail to keep from going fully crazy. Because we can go through anything, as long as it’s together.

CHAPTER FORTY

“Sweet Virgin Mary,” Micah hisses, ripping his hand away from the water. I’m watching him like I’m behind a foggy shower door. It feels like life is happening to me while someone controls my body.

“What?” I ask, and it’s like hearing my voice on a recording. I feel out of control. I’ve lost all control. Mr. Parker, Arthur, and Micah. Nothing I try is working. He doesn’t even want me to suck him off.

My face burns.

Micah glances back at me like he’s surprised I’m talking. His pupils widen, and he says, “Sorry, trying not to burn you.”

Right. A shower. He’s fixing me a shower.

Immediately, I feel a tightening in my gut. I can do that for myself. Not only that, I should be the one doing that for him. It’s manipulation 101, and he’s the one doing it, not me.

“I’m sorry,” I say again. My cheeks heat with shame. Micah turned me down. I pressed him and got the wrong answer. Is there even a right answer with Micah?

That nagging, throbbing question in my mind is back with a vengeance. What if Micah isn’t playing a game? Nothing is adding up. He’s had multiple opportunities to take what he wants from me, and he just keeps refusing.

What if Micah is just a sweet, kind man?

I feel like I’m going to throw up. Because Micah can’t be that. If he is, I’ve been treating him like shit this whole time.

“Take your shirt off,” Micah says.

Automatically, I obey.

Micah pulls a towel off the rack and folds it up by the shower. Slowly, so slowly, I realize it’s a rubber ducky towel. That odd detail snaps me back into focus a little.

“You gonna be okay?”

I blink. Am I going to be okay? Why does a grown man have a rubber ducky towel? Is that some sort of sign that he’s toxic?

My mind is stuck in a fog while my brain screams to fix this. I need to snap myself out of this, and scalding hot water might help.

So, I strip the rest of the way and step into the shower.

There’s an intake of air, and I glance up to see that Micah is turned away from me, facing the doorway.