Page 75 of Save Me

Fuck it. Fuck it. I’m losing, and I’m going to try harder.

I slide into my car and slam the door closed. This time, I can’t give up until I have what I want. No matter what I feel.

On the way home, I pick up a bottle of Southern Comfort. Maybe if I’m drunk, I can’t stay hard. Won’t get distracted by any of the pretty little sounds he makes or the way he responds to my every move like he’s been waiting his whole life for it.

Don’t get distracted.

Play the game.

Don’t. Get. Distracted.

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

Suffering succotash, I need my ice water.

I want to pepper Maddox with questions as fast as they come to me. What did that mean? Do you like me? Holy fudgesicle, you made me come, and it was the best orgasm of my life. Why didn’t you want me to touch you?

The hottest man I know just made me come because he wanted to. I did nothing, and I didn’t even start it. The hottest man I know just made me come, and I don’t even know his favorite color.

Blue. It has to be blue, right? He gives me blue vibes. Royal, deep, sad.

I pace in my kitchen, nearly tripping over Princess, who is on a side quest to retrieve what must be a piece of food from under the fridge.

This is okay, right? I’m not controlling him, right? Fudge, what if he sensed my energy and did this because he felt bad for me?

My hands are trying to move to my phone to send him a text, and glory above, I must be possessed! I have to ask him what his favorite color is, or he’s going to crumble into a pile of dust, and I’ll never talk to him again. Because if he tells me his favorite color, that means he still wants to talk. It means he did this because he wanted to and not because I made him.

Then there’s the slam of a car door outside, and it sets my heart racing. I’m moving to the door faster than Princess runs when I tell him it’s dinner time.

I open it, and am I dreaming? Maddox is here. He’s here!

He sees me, kicks the door shut, and moves toward me just as fast.

“Maddox—“

Maddox slams me into the wall, pressing his body into me and smashing his lips into mine. For a minute, all I feel is glorious exhilaration. UNICORN FARTS. Maddox is here! He’s kissing me like I’m the only other person on the planet! The world is right again.

Maddox’s kisses are rough, and his grip on my shoulders is tense. Suddenly, I smell alcohol. It takes me a second to compute. He’s been drinking, and he’s tense. Why is he tense?

For a second, I’m caught up in the drinking. Why is he drinking? Doesn’t he know that’s so bad for him?

I suck in a breath.

I pull back as much as I can, trying to get a glimpse of his eyes. For a brief moment, we make eye contact, and in that moment, I see tightness and worry.

My stomach drops. I feel bad for judging. Maddox has been through so much; I’m sure the drinking helps him cope, at least temporarily. And Maddox is a grown man. I can’t control everything, and I need to stop trying.

Maddox buries his face in my neck, nipping at the skin there, and fudge, he feels so good. So close to me. So right here, right by my carotid. He could touch his tongue to it and feel my heart racing.

Maddox latches on and sucks so hard that I’m ripped out of my thoughts and into a different reality. One where all I feel is Maddox pulling at me, trying to suck my soul into his. For a moment, I can’t think straight.

Maddox says something that sounds a lot like ‘fuck me,’ and now I really can’t think. My heart is racing so fast it feels like I can’t breathe. I try to pull back so I can see him, but the wall is preventing me from moving. Was that a question? Like, fuck me as in the exclamation or a request?

Maddox grinds into me, and I groan, already firm. I feel my resistance give way, and I soften into him. He feels it, pressing into me completely and washing my body in pleasure.

Maddox drops to his knees and fumbles with the button on my jeans, and my heart jumps into my mouth. Holy crap! Maddox is right here, on his knees in front of me, a thing I’ve imagined so many times I can’t believe this is happening.

Only in this version, there’s that dang line between his eyebrows, and his hands are shaking like he doesn’t want to. Or he’s running from something. Which makes my heart sink.