Page 25 of Save Me

I try to tune him out, changing my usual schedule with him to give him his meds as soon as I walk through the door, and then I’ll start with bathing, food, and everything else. I’m calculating how behind I am–3 hours–and double-checking the meds to make sure they’re ones I can give if the dose is late, when I catch a glimpse of the name on the pill bottle.

Arthur Jeffries. NP.

For a second, I stare, and then it feels like my heart is sucked straight out of my chest, and I stare at those gray letters that have worn off by use. Were they there before? Frantically, I search the dates. His name was definitely there.

What the hell? I drop the meds like the name is a poison that will seep into my skin and kill me from the inside out.

Suddenly, there’s movement in the left corner of my vision.

“Can you hear me, boy?” Mr. Parker is waving at me. I blink at him. He’s made it all the way from his bed to me, five feet away. How did he do that? How long have I been standing here?

“You’re about as good a listener as my grandson. Sometimes all he needs is a good–“ Mr Parker makes a backhand motion with his hand, and in that instant, with the way his face scrunches up, all I see is Dad and the hateful look he’d give us right before he beat us. And then I see him. Arthur, and the smile he’d give before…

But the motion of throwing his hand has knocked Mr. Parker off balance, and for a second, I consider letting his disgusting ass fall. Letting him hit his head on the carpet and then bleed out; the blood thinners he’s taking would make quick work of that.

But at the last minute, I catch him roughly around the arm. And in that minute, all I feel is disgust at myself. Less gently than usual, I guide him back to his bed, then throw the pill bottles on the tray.

It takes me a minute to cool down, and when I do, shock floods my system. I imagined watching someone die and took joy in it.

I prop my arm on the hallway wall and take a deep breath, but it does nothing to quell the sick feeling rising in my gut.

I’m becoming a man who relishes the pain of others. Someone who is closed off and angry, and violent when I want to be.

I’m becoming everything I swore I wouldn’t.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

1 year ago

“Ooooh, anniversary sex,” Jared coos at me.

“Shut up.” I smack him on the shoulder while stifling my grin.

“Sex in the car, sex in the bathroom, sex in the–”

“God, how old are you?” I try to leave the classroom quickly so no one else in our Certified Medication Aide class hears what Jared is saying. A mixture of giddiness and discomfort grips me. It’s Arthur and my anniversary, and he’s been hinting that we’re going to have a great night, and butterflies have been fluttering in my gut all day.

Jared races to the front doors. “Your looooove bug is here,” he sing-songs.

“Stop.” My face is hot.

He throws a blinding grin back at me. “Give Teach that velvet asshole.”

“Shhhhhh.” I’m fairly certain my face is bright red at this point. So yeah, maybe I’m dating our old instructor. It’s not like Arthur is my current teacher for this class right now. Arthur is a registered nurse and has come to teach a few classes. He’s tall, hot, and quite a bit older than me. Our relationship is complicated from the outside, but that doesn’t mean we weren’t meant to be together.

I hurry out to the black Corvette and slip inside.

“Hey, hottie.” Arthur grins at me, grabbing my hand and kissing it. “Happy anniversary.” The corners of his eyes crinkle up, his skin a beautiful tan, moving back into his salt-and-pepper brown hair.

“Happy anniversary.” I smile back, and it feels like the weight of the day slips off my shoulders.

Arthur peels out of the lot and gets on the ramp for the highway. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Nothing anymore; I’m already feeling better in the familiar environment. “Jared just being Jared.”

Arthur presses the pedal to the floor, the car jumping to obey, sending us racing down the highway. I’m plastered to my seat with the force of it.

“Never liked that fucker,” Arthur says, and his fingers are tight on the wheel.