Page 43 of Lucky 14

I stare at Elijah, realizing he’s not much older than me. He looks tired and thin. I wonder if he was also snatched out of his house. Does he have a house? Apartment? Maybe his job?

Finally, Elijah clears his throat, but doesn’t look at me. “Thanks.”

I just nod. What is there to say?

We’re silent for a while, listening to the waves crash on the shore. My feet ache, and my body feels woozy. My stomach turns, and nothing feels right. I want to collapse here. Lay right here and close my eyes and sleep. For forever. Which might be a reality if that’s what I choose to do.

I consider it. It would be peaceful. To never feel again.

“We need to keep going,” Elijah says, his voice raspy.

I agree. But my legs feel numb, and my chest feels numb, and now that I’ve stopped, I don’t think I can keep going. My adrenal supply is drained from too much fight or flight, lack of sleep, and lack of nutrition. Elijah must feel it too, because he collapses against a tree, unable to catch himself.

We sit there, both exhausted, staring at each other like one is going to knife the other as soon as we let our guard down.

My body feels like it’s a thousand pounds. Elijah’s had plenty of chances to hurt me. Would he really wait until I fell asleep to do it?

I must black out for a bit, because when I can focus my eyes again, Elijah’s are droopy.

I’ll just rest my eyes. I close my eyes. I’ll just rest…

Before I realize it, I’m right back to being woken up with my legs being ripped open. Only this time, it’s Elijah.

Gasping, I scramble back, wildly kicking at Elijah.

Only, when I blink, his hands aren’t on me. In fact, he hasn’t moved from his spot by the tree. I suck in breath after breath.

Another dream.

Elijah pretends he didn’t see what just happened, turning to give me some semblance of privacy.

Fuck. Hot, stinging tears well up in my eyes. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. I just want to go home.

To distract myself, I dig in my backpack, grabbing the vanilla protein bar. Ripping it open, I take a bite.

It tastes like sweet sawdust, and I almost choke.

Elijah glances over at me.

I get myself under control, swallowing painfully. Semi-sweet sludge moves down my throat.

He looks away. “The vanilla tastes like shit.”

I huff out a breath.

We’re silent for a bit. I wish I had water to wash it down. I’m not sure I can eat the rest.

“Why are you staying with me?” I ask. I’m not sure if he’ll answer, but I have to know.

Elijah’s soft voice comes just over the crash of waves. “You uh, remind me of someone.” He’s quiet for so long that I think that’s the end of his thought. Then, he clears his throat. “Dolly.”

I look up at him. He doesn’t look back at me. I pause, unsure if he wants me to press. He looks so…sad with his shoulders hunched over. Like he’s trying to get smaller. To disappear so no one hurts him. His eyes glaze over like he’s sinking into that place of paralysis.

Fuck, if he checks out of reality, I’m not sure if I can get him checked back in. I have to keep him talking. So softly, I ask, “Who is she?”

“My sister.” Elijah continues to stare. Somewhere, a seagull cries. It’s an angry sound and yet somehow sad as well.

“She’s the reason I’m here, you know,” Elijah says.