Page 154 of Lucky 14

Cali looks at me and raises her hands. “I truly don’t know. I just heard the guys talking.”

“About what?”

She gives me a look that’s almost pitiful. “About building another house.”

Another house. As in, for us? As in, we’d stay here? Like, live here?

My breathing picks up, and I stand off the stool. I can’t stay here. I mean, I can’t go home, not to my apartment, but I can’t stay here.

Not that I even know where here is.

My mouth is dry, and it opens and shuts before I ask, “Where’s here?”

“We’re off the southern coast of Japan.”

Japan. For a second, it feels like my heart stops. That’s so far away from home. How the fuck did I get here? How did this happen?

I didn’t let this happen. Oakley did.

My stomach clenches, and I can’t tell if I’m sick from the betrayal or maybe it’s just been hours since I’ve eaten.

He deserves…something. I’m not sure what, but something.

Cali just pets her cat, who looks at me and narrows his eyes.

I don’t feel good. I’m sure I need to sleep. Next to Oakley? Every night for the rest of…forever? Stuck on this island?

The thought makes me angry. Angry because I don’t deserve this. Angry because I know he will give me those eyes and do everything he can to make it better. My hands start sweating because I know the more he tries to help, the weaker my defenses will get. The easier I’ll fall asleep next to him, until what he did is just a memory we try to forget.

I might be sick.

A door opens, and I glance toward the mud room. A muscled man strides in from the shadowed room, with a dark, angry look, and for a second, he looks like the guy who came after me with a sword.

As I’m jumping out of my seat, I recognize Miles. As soon as he spots Cali, his features soften.

The adrenaline dump makes me look for a trash can to puke in. With great effort, I suck in air and hold down my stomach.

Miles kisses Cali, then strides away. She gets up, sending me a look. “Balls. I’ll cut them.” She follows him out of the room.

For a second, I’m hovering there, in a PTSD flashback that I didn’t ask for. Then, an idea fills my mind.

What if I made Oakley feel the same way he made me feel?

“Wait.” Before Cali can fully disappear, I dart after her.

CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR

I pace in the living room, pulling books down from the shelf. They aren’t psychology textbooks or even self-help books, which is what I’m sure I need right now. Need, but don’t fucking want.

It’s been a week since my conversation with Cali. I’ve been giving everyone the cold shoulder and just…getting my bearings. I swing between angry, deeply sad, and afraid, and I sometimes feel all those things at the same time. The therapist in me knows this is normal after experiencing trauma, but the human in me feels like I’m alone, screaming into a void that doesn’t care if it rips away any and all senses of safety. I’m stuck, spinning in that void.

The therapist knows I need to ride it out. Fourteen knows I need to do something with all these feelings. I need to put them somewhere, rather than staring out the window and sleeping. Well, I sleep when Oakley, Kyan, and Wyatt are gone. Which is pretty easy to do, considering Wyatt is downstairs planning stuff and making calls, and Oakley takes long walks around the island every afternoon.

But I’ve been stuck for too long. Today’s the day. Today’s the day I break out of this stupor.

There’s a shuffling upstairs.

It’s almost time.