Page 160 of Liberating Lily

Oh, God. She was in a huge mess here.

What was worse was that the cow was now by her car. And if she wasn’t mistaken, it was trying to eat her back tire.

And then the cow was joined by the biggest pig she’d ever seen in her life.

How was it possible for a pig to be that big? She had no idea. Okay, now she was glad that she hadn’t been able to get down off the roof of the barn. It just wasn’t safe down there.

“What are you doing on the roof of my barn?”

Lily startled and started to slip, but she grabbed hold of the roof again, halting her movement.

Oh, God. She was just not made for this sort of outdoor pursuit.

Could you call having to climb up onto a barn roof to escape a maniac cow an outdoor pursuit, though?

“Hey, careful. I don’t need you to sue me when you fall off my roof.”

She glared down at her sister. “I’m not going to sue you, Clem, you know that.”

“You sure about that? What if you break your hip? Would you sue me then?”

“Of course not.”

“What if you break all the bones in your butt? Would you sue me then?” Clem asked.

“No. I’m not sure there are that many bones in my butt, though.”

“I don’t know. I’m thinking it’s pretty bony. What if you fall flat on your face, smash your nose up, and break your jaw? Would you sue me then?”

“Clem,” she said. “Can you please stop suggesting scenarios where my face or my butt gets broken and I sue you?”

“Hmm, I guess I can do that once you explain why you’re on the roof of my barn.”

“Why are you on that horse?” she asked instead. And the moment she said it, she realized how stupid it sounded. There was only one reason that Clem was on the horse.

And the she should have asked was why Clem had a lamb in front of her on the horse.

“Well, I figured I’d fly to the moon on it,” Clem said sarcastically.

Lily sighed. She deserved that. “Sorry, sorry. I just didn’t realize that you rode.”

“Yeah, I can ride. Jaret taught me. Well, to be fair, he started to teach me, but then one of his brothers had to finish off the job. Jaret said I ride like a madwoman, and he couldn’t stand watching it anymore. That it was giving him indigestion. He gets indigestion a lot though, so I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“Is there a reason why you have a lamb in front of you? Oh, were you rescuing it? Was it stuck? Poor little thing.”

“Nah, Lamb Chop wasn’t stuck.”

“Lamb Chop?” she asked. “You named your lamb, Lamb Chop? Well, I suppose that shouldn’t surprise me, since you named that cow of Grandma June’s Rump Roast.”

“Yeah, only he’s not a cow, Lily. He’s a steer.”

“Oh, yeah. I always get that confused.”

Clem actually smirked.

“Wait, you just talked about him like he’s still alive. That’s not him, right?” She pointed over at the evil cow, who was definitely eating the tire on her car.

“Huh? No. That’s not Rump Roast. That’s Chuck Steak. What are you doing, Chuck? Don’t eat that tire. It’ll give you indigestion.”