Page 55 of Nyall

Jamaran kissed her brow. “I shall do whatever I may.”

“First we need to get him somewhere alone with us, and not my place.” She tapped a finger against her lips. “Remember that idea you had about taking Nyall and me to that abandoned island where we can spend the whole night making love under the stars? Maybe that’s where we can help him practice some control.”

“’Tis some caves where you and I may take cover.” He smiled. “Aye, if we may convince him go there, then he’d no’ fear harming anyone when he summons the lightning.”

“Great.” She sighed. “Now we just have to talk him into it.”

Chapter Seventeen

Afew days after the break-up Caroline sat down on the islet’s dock to watch the moonlight on the water. She’d gone to the stronghold every day to try and talk to Nyall, but Shaw hadn’t yet returned since the night of the confrontation between them. Fletcher told her that the captain went out every day with a patrol to search for him. Everything about the situation made her heart hurt, because she knew she had been the cause of the confrontation between her lover and the chieftain. She also suspected her lover hadn’t wanted to end things with her. If anything he wanted everything she did.

Something stood between them, however, and it wasn’t Shaw. This was something no one knew, except maybe for Jamaran.

Her mother would have scolded her for being greedy enough to want love along with the passion, but she didn’t care. Nyall was the one man who saw her for what she was, and had been generous enough to accept that. He didn’t flinch away from her desires or her personality. Why was he so afraid of her love? She had thought of every possibility, but kept coming back to the same one.

Someone burned him before me.

Seeing Jamaran surface a few yards away didn’t surprise her. The commander had been coming over late at night to keep her company for a few hours. She suspected without Nyall around he was just as miserable as she was, too.

“Checking up on me?” she asked as he cleared his gills and hoisted himself up beside her on the dock’s edge.

“When I saw your pretty feet in the water, I couldnae resist.” He took hold of her hand. “You’re sad again tonight.”

How he always read her mood so easily should have been a comfort; she’d never known anyone so much in tune with her. Yet that made her a burden on him, something she didn’t want.

“Don’t worry, I’m a big girl. I can handle my Nyall withdrawal.” She bumped her shoulder against his. “Aren’t you going to get into trouble by hanging out with me every night? Shouldn’t you be keeping an eye on Merrick?”

“The king’s avoiding me of late.” He smiled a little. “I reckon he wishes pair the two of us as Nyall would. Then if I should transform you, ’twould solve his own dilemma.”

“Do I want to know any details about Merrick’s problem?” When he shook his head she sighed. “Good. I’m depressed enough. Nyall’s still out searching the island for Shaw, or maybe he’s using it as an excuse to dodge us.” She glanced over at Dun Ard. “The three of us are so good together. I don’t want just you or him, I want you both. Why can’t we be together if that’s what we want?”

“He sees that you love him. I ken thus, for we share a connection that permits us share our thoughts as if speaking.” He looked all over her face. “’Tisnae wrong to give your heart to him, Caroline.”

“I’m not giving that stubborn jackass anything yet.” Of course she wanted to, but falling in love with a man who kept kicking her to the curb was beyond ridiculous. “I wish I could read your mind, but I can’t. I never said anything to you because I thought you’d get jealous.”

“’Twas clear the night he rejected you.” His lips curved. “I ken I still hold a place in your heart as well. Yet you and I, we cannae share the kind of love you possess for my friend. I may never again live on land, and my duties much occupy me. Whatever time we share together, ’twill ever be brief.”

It made her even more depressed to know he’d thought about that. “Don’t you resent my choosing him over you?”

“You’ve never truly loved before Nyall, nor he before you came. My love, ’twas a lady named Marie-Celeste,” Jamaran said. “From the time we played together as bairns I adored her. As a young man I couldnae keep from her, and she from me. In that time, my name wasnae Jamaran.”

“It was Jean Maran, wasn’t it? Merrick must have mangled it into Jamaran.” As he chuckled and nodded Caroline grew a little smug for figuring it out. “I never thought I’d use that semester of French I took in high school for anything. What happened with your girl?”

“When her belly swelled our families decided we should marry, and I’d never been happier.” His smile faded. “Just before our wedding the Norse came, and killed my lady, our bairn, and everyone in the village. I alone survived, wishing for naught more than an end. When they captured Merrick, I saw my chance for a clean death. Only he took that from me by transformation. My life, ’twas saved, but no’ my heart.”

That explained so much about him that Caroline hadn’t understood.

“I’m so sorry.” She put her arm around him. “Next time, tell me to mind my own business.”

“’Twas a long time past, and I wished you ken why you’re no’ first in my heart,” he said, and kissed her brow. “Nor do I mind, for you and I, we understand each other. The pleasure we share with Nyall, ’tis the happiness that completes me now. Ever I reckoned ’tis all you may offer me, and I may give you in return. Beyond such, we’re but loving friends.”

“There’s something else I want,” she said. “If you can read his mind, then you know why he’s shoving me away so he can push us together. It’s not just the lightning thing.” The way he reacted to that confirmed her suspicions. “I can’t fight what I don’t know, so tell me.”

“’Tisnae a story I may tell.” He drew her to her feet. “Now, slap me.”

“What?” She recoiled. “Why would I hit you?”

“Nyall’s here, watching us.” He glanced at the cottage. “Give him reason, and he shall come.”