Page 35 of Nyall

“Let go of me.” She twisted in his grip as she tried to push him again, this time away from her. “You should know who did this to me. This is your wonderful island with all your family. I have no one on my side here.”

“’Tisnae true, Caroline.” He caught her hands. “You’ve us.”

“You weren’t there today,” she snapped. “I was drowning in ten feet of water. Ten feet. Do you know what it’s like, being helpless when all you want is to save yourself? You can’t scream underwater when your last breath is burning in your lungs. You can’t do anything but fight, even when you know it won’t do any good. Why do these bastards keep trying to drown me? The sea was all I had left. It’s been my whole life.” Her voice broke as she said, “I can’t handle this anymore, Nyall. I can’t.”

He drew her into his arms, holding her as she wept against his shoulder, and looked over her head at his best friend, who quickly moved across the room to come up and embrace Caroline from behind. Holding her between them should have been wrong, but the three of them matched as if she were some missing piece that completed the puzzle of their friendship.

“You’re no’ helpless, my lady,” Nyall told her. “Twice your enemies left you in their traps. Twice you escaped.”

Caroline lifted her head to look at him. “What happens the next time, when you and Jamaran are too busy to notice I’m missing?” A sob broke from her lips. “Are you going to find me washed up on shore, with crabs crawling all over me? Or will I just end up in the belly of your man-killer shark?”

Offering her protection wouldn’t reassure her, Nyall knew. She needed to learn how to protect herself.

“You shallnae, for now we ken someone intends you harm.” He cradled her face between his hands. “You dinnae need guards, Caroline. You need stay on your guard. I shall show you how you may fight on land. Jamaran shall reveal what hurts his kind, and all the ways you may swiftly kill them in the sea. You’re strong and fierce, and with some training, you shall gut this fack, should he ever try capture you again.”

“Aye,” his best friend said softly, stroking her arm. “So we shall teach you.”

Nyall kissed her brow, and then watched with pleasure as Jamaran kissed the side of her throat. The terror and rage had finally emptied out of her eyes, leaving them ablaze with some other fierce emotion. Caroline shifted, turning slightly toward the commander so that they stood at her sides before she lifted her mouth and kissed Nyall. She then turned her head and did the same to Jamaran.

“Don’t leave me tonight, please.” She twined her arms around them. “I want you both to stay. Stay and be with me.”

Chapter Eleven

The firelight flickered over the three of them in the silence that followed Caroline’s outrageous suggestion. She knew she had shocked them, but she didn’t regret making the offer. She needed comfort and reassurance, not from either of them but from both. She shouldn’t have to choose when they both wanted her. Playing this stupid hot potato game by pushing her from one to the other had to stop tonight.

When neither of them said anything she dropped her arms and stepped back.

“Don’t overthink it, because it’s just sex.” Caroline saw the focused way they were staring at each other and guessed they were doing the wordless communication thing again. “I want to have sex with both of you, just to be clear.”

From the hearth she went back into the corner to inspect the bed, which appeared too small to accommodate all three of them. The ticking looked clean, and smelled fresh, so she pulled that off the slatted frame and dragged it over in front of the hearth. The floor, made from something like cobblestones with dirt packed between them, seemed to be clean and looked bug-free. The fire had already warmed the air.

If they agree, I’m really going to do this.

The prospect of having sex with two men at once should have scared her; she’d never tried such a thing in her time. The attention and care Nyall and Jamaran gave her when they were together told her she would be safe with them. She had never noticed any signs of jealousy from either of them, which they needed if this was going to work out. If she were honest with herself, she’d been thinking about it since the day she’d arrived on the island. She also suspected Jamaran understood the situation better than the captain, and approved. Had he been fantasizing about this, too?

“Why cannae you choose one of us stay with you tonight?” Nyall asked.

“There’s no reason I have to,” she said as she went over to the big cabinet, opening it to inspect the linens on the shelves. “I’m not marrying you or him. I also refuse to become the reason your friendship ends. My way, no one has to go without. We all get what we want.” She glanced over her shoulder. “You know I’m right, too. You just can’t let yourself admit it.”

“You shallnae end our friendship,” the commander murmured.

Nyall watched her spread the linen coverlet she’d found over the ticking. “Neither the clan nor the Selseus would accept us sharing you as our lover, my lady.”

“How is that their call?” she countered. “We’re adults. This is our business. I’m not going to tell anyone, are you?”

“’Tisnae my meaning,” he said, sounding stern now. “You must live on Caladh, at least until we may return you. Taking two lovers, ’twill make others name you an outcast, even a hoor. You shall be shamed by other women and leered over by every man who hears of us.”

He was worried about how it would affect her, not what anyone would say about him and his friend. Of course men usually got a free pass to have whatever kind of wild and crazy sex they wanted, while women were instantly judged. Still, it warmed her to know he was holding back on her account.

“I don’t care what other people think if they find out.” She regarded him, and saw the strange sadness in his eyes again. “I nearly died in the water again today. I’m tired of pretending I don’t want this. I never play games. I know you two are best friends, but being with me won’t change that. Where’s the harm in doing what we want when we’re alone?”

Caroline sensed neither of them would make the first move, so she pulled the collar of the one piece over her head, and worked her arms out of the short sleeves. Jamaran was already on board, but the captain needed convincing. Pushing down the one-piece so she could step out of it left her completely naked. She looked even better without any clothes on, and from the way they both stared at her, they shared that opinion. The moonlight coming through the window made her glow as if she’d been dipped in liquid silver. She knew her body to be unconventionally appealing, just like her mother’s. In the twelfth century she was probably the equivalent of a pin-up girl.

Will they be able to resist me? Maybe she was being too reckless, or taking on more than she could handle. Probably both. She didn’t care. If she didn’t try, they’d never know.

“If you’re still not sure, you can just watch me and the commander,” she told Nyall, who was staring at her face instead of her body. “But it will be a lot more fun if you join in.”

He finally stood, and looked past her at Jamaran. “You’re certain, then.”