Page 54 of Silent Damage

I locked eyes with him and every feeling I thought I’d killed came flooding back to me.

He was magnetic.

I wanted to get closer. To touch him. Kiss him.

Each time he closed his eyes, all I could do was stare at his long, dark lashes.

His look of longing brought back a memory I thought I’d pushed out of my mind forever.

The very first time we kissed.

I sit in Gabe’s trailer having dinner with his family.

It’s an awful night.

His dad is loaded.

And I mean loaded.

I’ve never seen anyone as drunk as this asshole. His head bobs at the table, his eyes rolling back as he makes these weird groaning noises.

I eat with Gabe and his mom a lot, but his dad is usually out somewhere. Gabe never really talks about him, so I don’t ask.

But his dad is here tonight, and I see now why he doesn't talk about him.

Linda clears her throat. “How was school today, boys?” Her body is tense. Just like mine when Doug’s in a mood. It’s like trying to be normal next to a ticking time bomb, when all you want to do is scream.

Gabe isn’t answering, so I finally reply, “It was fine.”

He stares at his dad, who continues making these horrible, groaning noises. Then all of a sudden, his dad starts wailing in his seat—screaming gibberish at the top of his lungs as his head bobs.

Linda tries to laugh it off, but Gabe can’t stand it. I can see it in the way he clenches his fists. He’s never like this. He’s always chill. Peaceful. Sweet.

His dad rises, screaming nonsense at the top of his lungs before smashing his fist down on the table. The plates and glasses shake, and Linda urges him to stop, but he keeps going, smashing his fist on the table while hollering.

Gabe slaps his hands against the table and jumps out of his seat. “SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

His dad barely notices. He just keeps groaning and shouting while Gabe yells, “SHUT UP!”

“It’s okay, just sit,” his mom urges, trying to calm him down.

But Gabe’s losing it. He kicks the leg of the table before running out of the trailer.

I’m right behind him, trying to catch up as he darts down the gravel road.

“Gabe! Wait!”

He sprints into the woods surrounding the park, making his way to our fort. When he reaches it, he falls to his knees and starts punching the ground.

“Dude, you’re gonna hurt yourself,” I yell.

He won’t stop. He’s just slamming his fists against the hard ground over and over again. I’m afraid he’s gonna break his hand, so I wrap my arms around his body and squeeze him to my chest.

“Fuck him, man. He’s a piece of shit,” I say.

Gabe wraps his arms around me. “I just fucking hate him so much,” he whispers into my chest.

His body is trembling. He’s crying.