Page 46 of Silent Damage

My breath is ragged as I toss and turn, wrapping myself in the comforter to form a cocoon around me.

I just need to sleep.

I close my eyes, focusing on the breeze outside.

Jason’s stopped clomping all over the trailer, and there’s finally peace.

I sigh with relief, grateful that it’s finally quiet and I can get some—

“Ughhhh…”

What the?

“Ughhhh…”

Is that a woman?

“Yes! Oh, fuck yes, eat my fucking pussy!”

Oh. My. God.

He’s watching porn.

And the volume?

DEAFENING.

Can I catch a fucking break?

It couldn’t be louder. The sound travels from the living room through the seam of my bedroom door and stabs my eardrums like a pickaxe.

It goes on and on. The sounds of really bad porn blaring throughout the trailer and knowing that it’s Jason out there makes me—

“Oh…”

No.

“Fuck,” he groans.

I can hear him. Dear god, I can fucking hear him.

This is a nightmare. I wish I could spontaneously combust so that—

“Gaaaaabe…”

I freeze.

My body is cold, and I can’t catch my breath.

“Gaaaabe…” he says again.

Is he saying?

No, he’s not. I’m imagining it—wishing for it. Yearning for him to call out for me so that—

“Gaaaabe…”

Okay, maybe I’m not imagining it.