Page 159 of Silent Damage

Chapter 38

Gabe (24 Hours Later)

“I’ve got your drawing,” I tell Jason, “and I’m adding me to the back. Just like you wanted.”

I narrate my entire life now and ask Constance and Dr. Shiffren a thousand questions every time they come in, because I want to know everything.

I need to be Jason’s voice.

“When you wake up, we’re going to get this framed and hang it in our new place. I was thinking we could get a spot closer to Torren’s shop. There are a few apartment buildings over there that I think would be nice.” I take a beat to squeeze my eyes shut.

“The CT scans show swelling and bruising of the brain. It’s a traumatic brain injury, and the next forty-eight hours are crucial.”

Doctor Shiffren’s voice echoes in my mind.

“That way I could walk to work,” I add shakily, doing everything in my power not to get lost in hopelessness.

“I won’t have to pay for the bus anymore, which will help save money.” The room is silent except for the equipment that’s keeping Jason alive.

“I’ll miss the forest near the trailer, but maybe our new spot will…will have…”

I drop the pad and pencil onto my lap and scrub my face with my hands.

Don’t lose it. Be comforting.

I let my gaze linger on him for a bit before scooting my chair a little closer and whispering, “You know, once we have our own place, I was thinking we could get a sling. I want you to fuck me in a sling again; that was so hot.”

The room is cold, and the air smells like antiseptic and mint. I lean a little closer and breathe in Jason’s scent.

And that’s what tips me over the edge, because the very real possibility of never smelling him again makes me want to die.

I might never smell him again.

His lips might never touch mine.

He may never wrap his arms around me during the night and squeeze me close like a human teddy bear…

Teddy Bear.

I grab my phone to text Mom.

Me: Can you bring Smudge? That’s our bear in the bedroom.

Mom: Yes. I’m coming later tonight. I let Doug know what happened. I had to.

“Oh, God.”

Just as I’m about to text her back, Doug walks into the room.

His breath hitches when he sees Jason, and he freezes.

Slowly, his hand rises to cover his mouth.

He says nothing. Just stands completely still, looking at his son.

We’re both silent—Doug looking at Jason, while I stare at him, waiting for him to do…something.

“I knew this would happen,” he mutters, his face shaking and turning red. “I knew it!” His voice echoes in the room, and I shudder.