Page 48 of A Spell of Heart & Havoc

We could hear her cackling all the way down the hall. I plopped back in my seat, cheeks blazing, and took a heavy swig of my tangerine juice. Maerryl just chuckled, sliding a hand up my leg under the table. The blazing sensation jumped to my thigh, tingling where she touched.

“I think she likes me,” Maerryl said.

I rolled my eyes. “She’s shameless. I haven’t said a word about—well, this, whatever this is—” I gestured between us, and Maerryl’s hand slid an inch higher. “But Choia always knows, somehow. She’s been with us since I was a child. Probably knows me better than my own parents.”

“You care for her,” she said, dutifully forking up her quiche as instructed.

“I do, yes. We’ve been through a lot together,” I said.

The door creaked open, and Petra poked her head in. Under the table, Maerryl’s hand slipped surreptitiously away from my thigh.

“Petra!” I exclaimed. “Join us! You adore this ham-and-leek quiche. We saved you a big slice.” The maid entered but hovered by the door, playing with the end of her wheat-blond braid.

“Oh, I’m not sure—” she said, looking from Maerryl to me and back again. “I’ll have some later. I just came to pass on the message that your horses are ready, and you might want to head out soon, Dove. It’s getting on to ten o’clock.”

“Oh, drat! Thank you, you’re right.” I wiped my fingers and mouth with a linen napkin, jumped up, and grabbed Choia’s parcel. Slipping a cookie out, I handed it to Petra on my way and gave her a quick hug. These past few days, I felt lighter than I had in years. And I was so lucky to have a dependable friend like her.

“Thank you,” she said with a soft smile, though her hug felt stiff.

I took a closer look at her dear face. Light shadows hung under her blue eyes, and there was a new tenseness to her shoulders.

“Petra, are you alright? You seem…”

She laughed, but it sounded off. “Oh yes, just had a bad night’s sleep,” she said.

“Alright, well, please take some time to rest today. Tell Hanc I said for him to do some of your work.” Impulsively, I folded her into another hug. After a moment, her arms came up around me too, relaxing into it. “You and I must spend some time together later, yes? Have a good gossip session with tea?”

“I’d like that.” Pulling back from my hug, she said, “Have fun with the orphans today. I’ll take care of everything here.”

Maerryl’s normal scowl was back, but she nodded politely to Petra as we headed out the door and toward the stables. Maerryl and I still hadn’t really figured out what we were to each other, so I hadn’t confided in my maid. I knew she sensed something was different, though; we’d made no secret of the fact that we weren’t warring anymore. Petra and Maerryl seemed like they needed time to adjust to each other, figure out what their relationship—and hopefully friendship—would be like in the manor. We all did.

And thankfully, now that my parents were staying in the city for a while, we’d all have a bit of time and space to breathe. Sort things out. They’d sent a raven yesterday with word that the Tongs’ revel had been a triumph—both the event and their own reentrance back into society—and some friends had helped them find a nice, month-long furnished rental. While happy for them, I mostly felt relieved that they’d be staying away for longer—despite the guilt that nagged at me from the thought. I just prayed that they were sticking to their budget. I’d already resolved to hold fast to my decision not to send any additional coin until next month. The rental, though located in a fashionable neighborhood, was on the outskirts. So that sounded promising. Mother made sure to note that it had three bedrooms, and that it wasn’t too late for me to come join them.

What I wanted to write back was fuck no. But I sent, of course, a very measured, polite decline in my reply. Though glad they seemed in higher spirits, I had no interest in going back there anytime soon. Maybe never. That whole society set, my former friends and lovers, the cyclical life of shopping, chitchatting, attending balls and going to the “right” performances and restaurants—when I tried to imagine entering that life again, I felt nothing but a deep sense of weariness. And a touch of revulsion.

“So Dove,” Maerryl said, fingers fidgeting with a buckle on her leathers. “What exactly have you told Petra? About us, I mean?”

Pulled out of my thoughts, I paused for a moment before continuing on our walk to the stables. “Well… nothing.”

“Nothing?” Maerryl frowned.

“Not really, no.” If I had to guess, I’d almost say she seemed discomfited at this. A spark of amusement flared in me.

Rubbing the back of her neck, Maerryl said, “She’s one of your closest friends though, isn’t she?”

“The closest, I’d say. Apart from Choia, of course.”

“And I haven’t… I mean to say, we haven’t come up? With either of them?” She looked distinctly awkward now, as if she wished she hadn’t raised it at all.

“Um, not yet, I suppose,” I said. Oh goddess. Has Maerryl been thinking about this, and wondering what we are now? I wish I had something sorted out to tell her. She’s going to think I don’t care or something.

“And what happens,” she continued, “when your parents return?”

Slowly, I said, “I… I don’t know, exactly.” Seeing her face, I hurried to add, “But I think we should definitely—absolutely talk about this. And think about it more. There’s a lot to figure out.”

“That’s very true,” she said quietly.

“And—I have been so happy with you these past days. Very happy indeed.” Looping my arm through hers, I snuggled close as we walked, our steps falling into sync. She smiled down at me, pressing a kiss to my forehead.