Page 73 of The Secret to Belonging

from behind your sternum

a feeling so new, it’s still wrinkled from being stuffed

in the cupboard

you’re excited for Christmas

back home

back in the States

(is California still home?

do you want it to be?)

back in California

holidays were synonymous with dread

wondering what your brother would inevitably

do (or not do) to ruin everything

pawn all the gifts from under the tree?

drive drunk and get arrested on Christmas Eve?

disappear for three straight days only to turn up

bleeding with some skinny chick who accidentally

sets her hair on fire?

but

with Elinor and Bjørn

juletid is joyful

hearts are woven from red and white paper

stars are folded and hung from the ceiling

electric candles grace every window

reflecting a welcome on the snow outside

friends stop by for kaffe and vafler

served with brown cheese and tyttebær jam

baking never ceases

shortbread buttons and gingerbread men

julekakker and Santa Lucia buns

the entire house smells like ginger